Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Soapbox Commentary: The Death of Action Films(?)

Just in time for Summer Blockbuster Season and the impending release of "The Expendables 2", Sylvester Stallone decided he was going to open his mouth.

All jokes aside about how the guy is less intelligible than Brad Pitt in "Snatch", Stallone came out and said in a recent interview and said that the recent barrage of superhero movies is detracting from the "real action movies" with everyday men rather than men with extraordinary powers, and sees the genre is, and I quote, "fading away".

Okay.  So the days of "Die Hard" and "Rambo" are slowing down, but calling the action movie a dying breed is a bit of a stretch.  Here's why...

1.  A Rose By Any Other Name...

Remember the good ol' days when an action film was just an action movie?  Comic book/superhero movie.  Sci-fi movie.  Bruce-Willis-blows-the-hell-out-of-a-group-of-East-Euro-terrorists movie.  It never used to matter.  If shit is blowing up and catch phrases are flying, it's an action movie.  That's.  It.  So, it's a been a few years (5 to be exact) since the fourth "Die Hard" movie, and the last "Rambo" film came and went with little to no fanfare.

 Let's, for argument's sake, forget that seven superhero movies have come out during the last five years...

(And, for the record, I'm not counting "Punisher: War Zone" and "The Dark Knight" because, hey, Stallone bitched about men with extraordinary powers.  Batman and the Punisher, having only an array of wonderful toys and a full arsenal of BFGs (hint:  the B means big, the G means guns) respectively, they are just men.)

Not only did you have "Live Free or Die Hard", but you had "The Hunger Games", both installments of Guy Ritchie's "Sherlock Holmes", "Avatar" [shudders], "The Surrogates" (with Bruce Willis), the fourth "Indiana Jones" installment, "Eagle Eye", "Inception", "The Town", "Red" (again with Bruce Willis), the first "Expendables", and a slew of others.  I'd list them all, but I believe you get my point.

2.  (Perhaps) An End Of An Era

Maybe it's not that Stallone is meaning the action film is coming to an end, but rather action films starring the classic action stars of the yester-years.  He did, in the same interview, mention "And then you have a bunch of us which is just your basic male-pattern badness...".

Here's the problem...those guys...are just getting older.  And worse yet, they're looking older.  Harrison Ford is going to be 70 this year.  70 for hell's sake!  Steven Segal. Chuck Norris.  Jean-Claude Van Damme.  Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Hell, even Mel Gibson.  Who the hell really wants to see any of these clowns anymore?  Sure, Segal was in "Machete" in 2010 and Chuck Norris is going to be in "The Expendables 2", but let's be honest with ourselves.

Many of the big-time action film stars are turning away from action films.  Al Pacino has been doing more drama and thrillers, and Robert DeNiro has been in more comedies than action films.  Jackie Chan would rather do "Kung Fu Panda" and "The Karate Kid" then another true martial arts movie.  Jet Li doesn't really do his own stunts anymore (look at the credits).  Wesley Snipes is in jail.  Patrick Swayze...well, he's dead, so we can't hold that against him.  Hell, even Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe are going to be in "Les Miserables".

Really, the only action star from the 80s is Bruce Willis, and, yes, his "male-pattern badness" is equal only to his male-pattern baldness.  Out of all the classic action stars of his generation, he's the only one who has managed to stay relevant by staying (gasp) in shape and starring in (bigger gasp) good movies.  He hasn't played John McClane in every movie.  Nay, Willis has branched out, and has, not only the final installment of "Die Hard" coming out next year, but "Red 2", "Looper", and "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" coming out later this year or next.  Can Stallone brag about this?  I do not think so.

3.  The Geek Has Inherited The Earth

These are extraordinary times, and so, Mr. Sly, we need extraordinary men.  And comic book movies have offered us live versions of classic extraordinary men who can bridge the gap between generations.  Kids have loved comic books for decades.  Then those kids have kids of their own, who read comic books.  And so on and so forth.

The box office is not being dominated by testosterone-fueled anymore.  It's being fueled by intelligent action films and comic book movies.  Look at this year alone.  The top-grossing films in 2012 have been "The Avengers" and "The Hunger Games" -- a comic book movie and an adaptation of a best-selling novel (that didn't feature sparkly vampires).  Action films with reasonable substance.  By the end of the Summer, we will see "The Amazing Spider-Man" and "The Dark Knight Rises", which will all be fighting for top supremacy at the box office.  Sadly, "The Expendables" may have to settle for the popcorn kernals of the box office after all the bigger pieces are taken by these comic adaptations.

Look, we're in harsh times in America.  When we go to the movies, we need a full escape from reality.  How the hell are we supposed to forget about the current state of affairs when even the action films are steeped in reality?  It's a lovely thought, but, really, it's the thought that the extraordinary exists that will get people through.  So it's these extraordinary heroes like "Spider-Man" and "The Avengers" that not only entertain, but give people hope.


So, Mr. Stallone, rest assured. action movie will never die.  You can blow up and set fire to anything, but, in the end, action movies will rise from the ashes like a great phoenix and soar to great heights and, often times, great box office tickets.  As long as the story is compelling and the acting is great, people will come to see your explosions.  If not...well...you can always start making comedies again.  Talk to Schwarzenegger.  He knows what I'm talking about.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Soapbox Commentary: Make Love Not War* (*as long as it's not gay love)

Usually I don't like to get political on my blog, but sometimes a story comes out that just really...well, really pisses me off.

Today, there was a story about the right-wing group One Million Mothers (OMM), who are now outraged about DC Comics' recent decision to have one of their more popular characters to come out of the closest -- Alan Scott, the original (or "Golden Age") Green Lantern.  OMM is appealing to DC and Marvel to rethink the idea of having gay superheroes, because "children desire to be like superheroes" and the group claims that this is a  way of "brainwashing" our youth.

That's right, kids.  Brainwashing.  Apparently brainwashing our kids to be hate mongers is far less offensive than brainwashing our kids to be tolerant.

So it's been several decades since the Comics Code and all.  During the code, topics such as homosexuality (or sexuality, in general for that matter), alcohol and drug addiction, and gratuitous violence were off limits.  And then, thanks to Stan Lee (or, as I like to call him, Grandpa Stan...as he has instructed never to call him), artists and writers decided to do the unthinkable...go against the code.  And what happened?  Comics became...relevant!  More real.  More thought-provoking.  More relate-able to the current and upcoming generations.

Marvel has been ahead of the game far longer than DC in terms of political progression.  First it was prominent African-American characters like Blade, Storm, and Nick Fury in the Marvel Ultimates universe. Then it was chronically flawed characters, like alcoholic Tony Stark.  Then, in response to the 80's AIDS Crisis, Northstar became the first openly gay comic character, followed by the X-Man Colossus in 2005 as the next big prominent gay character.  There is still a rumor that Miles Morales, the new Spider-Man in the Ultimate Universe is gay or bi-sexual, though nothing has been confirmed.

DC having the original Green Lantern come out of the closet so publicly is not that surprising.  First, we have  President Obama coming out and supporting gay marriage, then Joe Biden, and even Colin Powell.  So, it's only natural that, since Marvel, who will inevitably be taking "The Dark Knight"'s sweet spot as the #3 all-time grossing film in the US, has already made its stance as pro-gay, DC would finally jump on the bandwagon now that it's popular and socially acceptable to do so.

The thing that pisses me off the most is these right-wing know-it-alls in the OMM think they can use their children as a way to get their point across.  I understand the thought process to an extent.  Threaten a boycott of something popular, and wait until the company caves in because off detrimental losses in profit.

This may have worked in, say, the 1940's.

The problem with today's youth, Christian or otherwise, is curious about the taboo.  When something is deemed controversial and "fundamentally wrong", that's when kids under 16 will race out, give their right arm, left testicle and soul to get their hands on whatever material groups like OMM deem sinful.  It doesn't matter what parents say.  Even if you tell the kid it's bad, they won't care.  You may not buy it for them, but that won't stop them from reading it at a friend's house. Coming from someone who was that age only about 15 years ago, trust me on this.

So.  Parents, teachers, religious leaders, and pretty much anyone who chronically watches Fox News, let me make something clear.  Straight, gay, black, white, brown, male, woman, whatever.  People are people.  Whether you agree with their opinions or not, they are all just people.  And if kids what to read comics with extraordinary people of any sex, creed or race and that inspires them to be extraordinary in their lives because they can relate in one fashion or another to the character of said comics, what truly is the harm?

Monday, May 28, 2012

Movie Review: "Men In Black 3"

Ah, the Summer Blockbuster Season.  Isn't it fun to watch the unnecessary reboots and sequels bloom?

At first glance, "Men In Black 3" seems like such an unnecessary sequel.  It's been almost a full 10 years since the unfairly panned "Men In Black 2", and (here's a fun fact) an astonishing 15 years since the original (I'll give you a moment to ponder how old you really are now...sucks, doesn't it?)

However, when the director came out several weeks before the movie's release to say this film "answered questions you never thought about asking", I was naturally intrigued.  And I was not disappointed at all.

Ten years (and presumably many cases) since the second installment, Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) find themselves realizing time is not on their side.  Zed has passed away, and Agent O (Emma Thompson) has taken his place as head of the MIB.  After a jailbreak from a maximum security lunar prison by notorious intergalactic Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement), K starts to see his own mortality.  And, after a massive break in the natural timeline, J wakes to find K has been dead for 40 years.  Now, J is tasked to travel back in time, save his partner, and, oh yeah, mankind as we know it.  But no pressure, right?  When J lands in 1969, he runs into a much younger Agent K (Josh Brolin) and Agent O (Alice Eve), who agree to stop Boris's plan, which revolves around the Apollo 11 lunar launch.

Barry Sonnenfeld ("Men In Black", "Men In Black 2") comes back to direct the third installment with an amazing script from Etan Cohen (co-writer of "Tropic Thunder").  Everything you love about the "MIB" franchise is here.  All the bizarre humor, awesome CGI and cool-as-hell action you come to expect is delivered on a silver platter.  And since Steven Spielberg couldn't keep away from this franchise again, the 3D (and IMAX 3D) are spectacular, and enhance the experience ten fold.

While the performances by Smith, Jones, Clement, and especially Brolin are rock solid and impressive, the true amazement comes from the script.  Rarely does a film that comes so much later than its predecessor manage to capture the same feeling as the original (notice the performance of the "Wall Street" sequel to get my point...which, ironically, has Josh Brolin in it too...weird), but "Men In Black 3" not only lives up the expectations, but exceeds them and does what no other threequel has managed to do...add depth to the other two installments.  Once you see the film for yourself, you'll catch my meaning.

FINAL VERDICT:  Perhaps not the sequel you had been dying for in the last decade, "Men In Black 3" will leave you with a smile on your face and stars in your eyes.  With this film adding more depth to the original two films, this is quite easily the best film in the franchise 


Two-Cent Review: "The Dictator"

Though I'm reasonably ashamed to admit it, I'm a Sacha Baron Cohen fan.  Even as disturbingly over-the-top as "Borat" and "Bruno" were, I can't help laughing thinking about them.  Even as I'm writing this, I'm suppressing a wicked grin thinking about them.

Cohen's latest film "The Dictator" displays less of over-the-topic reality antics and focus on more of the story.  Cohen (who once again serves as writer) plays General Aladeen, the dictator of fictional country Wadiyah.  Aladeen has been planning a nuclear strike on America, but refuses to let the UN search his country for weapons of mass destruction.  In an attempt to shut them up, Aladeen visits America where he plans to plan a giant "fuck you" on the UN.  However, the plan goes awry when a Secret Service agent (played by John C. Reilly) with his own agenda captures Aladeen, cuts off his "sacred beard", and, after a botched assassination attempt, allows Aladeen to escape to the streets of New York City to fend for himself.  Through connections made by a former political aide and a friendship with a vegan store clerk (Anna Faris), Aladeen plots to get back in the public eye before he loses his country to democracy.

Director Larry Charles (co-producer of "Seinfeld") and Cohen tone down the more subversive elements to "Bruno" and "Borat", such as the male frontal nudity and homosexual sex to bring a hilarious story of political mishaps to light.  Focusing more on the story rather than pissing off unassuming Americans with reality-based toilet humor is what makes this film Cohen's best yet.  Add in performances from Sir Ben Kingsley and Jason Mantzoukas (TV's "The League"), as well as a slew of celebrity cameos, and you get a delirious comedy you should be ashamed of laughing at, but, by the end, you just don't care.

MY TWO CENTS:  "The Dictator" may be Sacha Baron Cohen-lite, but that's the ironic beauty of the film.  It's about time someone in Hollywood realized less is more.

Movie Review: "Dark Shadows"

Remaking TV shows, old or current, is a game not even the best gamblers would play.  Indeed, it's probably better to bet $10 million on 00 on the damn roulette tables in Vegas blind-folded on ten straight shots of Patron before thinking of dropping that kind of money (if not more) on a big-screen TV adaptation.

For every "Mission Impossible", you get one "Bewitched".  For every "The A-Team", you get "The Honeymooners".  For every "Sex in the City", you get...well, "Sex in the City 2".

With that said, any box office analyst who tries to tell me remaking cult classic vampire soap opera "Dark Shadows" wasn't a horrible risk, that analyst will be cordially invited to kiss my ass.  Even with Depp/Burton branding and a hot new writer, not to mention a stellar cast, you still may have better odds playing craps with one dice.  Luckily, the gamble is a winner this time around.

"Dark Shadows" has all the greatness of the original, and, because the producers aren't idiots, the same storyline as well ("Bewitched" producers, writers, and such, we're talking to you....assholes).  Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp), the sole heir to the Collins family fortune and canning business in Collinsport (the town his father founded in New England), to make a long story short, spurns the advances of the wrong witch -- namely Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green), the Collins family housekeeper.  When Barnabas takes the hand of another woman, Angelique dispatches Barnabas's would-be wife, and turns Barnabas himself into a vampire.  Once the townsfolk turns on him (at the hands of Angelique), they lock him in a coffin and bury him alive (or dead...living dead...whatever).

Fast-forward about 200 years later, Barnabas escapes his confines and discovers two shocking things:  (1) The year is 1972, and his beloved Collinsport, and family business, is in shambles, and (2) his beloved Collinwood is now inhabited by his apparent relatives -- Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), Roger (Johnny Lee Miller), Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moritz), and David (Gulliver McGrath), as well as groundskeeper Willie Loomis (Jackie Earl Haley) and family therapist Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter).  Finding his family estate and business in shambles, Barnabas vows to take the reigns once more and make people proud of the Collins name once more.  However, he is faced with three huge distractions:  (1) an ever-growing infatuation with the new family nanny Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcote), (2) Angelique, now a successful businesswoman who's been stealing business from the Collins family business, knows of Barnabas's return, and wants revenge...or his affections, and (3) his unquenchable thirst for blood.

Director Tim Burton brings the cult classic to life much in the style of "Sleepy Hollow" and "Sweeney Todd" with conservative light and clever use of (wait for it...) darkness and shadows.  The true gem of the film is the amazing script written by Seth Grahame-Smith (author of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies", as well as the author and subsequent screenwriter of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", due out this June).  It's obvious Grahame-Smith is a fan of the original series, and proves it with his dark, twisted, often self-referential screenplay that makes even the most hardened fans rejoice.

Though ill-conceived timing is ruining the film's box office revenue (going against "The Avengers" being the biggest factor), "Dark Shadows" offers many laughs, thrills, and chills of a typical Burton film.  Granted, I never watched the classic show, but, luckily for me, many of my friends (and my girlfriend) are, so I had a lot to base it on.  There hasn't been a Tim Burton sequel since "Batman Returns", but this is one that clearly deserves it.

FINAL VERDICT:  Stellar performances and a script and art direction true to the original source material, "Dark Shadows" is a vampire film that doesn't suck.  Without the typical glam and glitz of a typical movie of its caliber (not to mention without glittery vampires), "Dark Shadows" gets down to the bloody business without draining your bloody patience.

Movie Review: "Marvel's The Avengers"

How does one approach "The Avengers"?  As a movie critic, I could break down the movie intellectually and make correlations to the action epics that have come before it.  As a cinephile, I could expound on how inevitable this movie was, and break down what you can and should expect.  As a comic book fan and all-around geek, I could just simply exclaim two simple words...."HELL YES!!!!"

This movie has been a long-time coming.  Starting with 2008's "Iron Man", which not only jump-started Robert Downey Jr's career, but got the ball rolling to illustrate the explicit trail "The Avengers" -- from the references to S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Super Soldier program (and Tony Stark's brief appearance) in 2008's "The Incredible Hulk" to the final piece of the puzzle with last year's "Captain America: The First Avenger".  Now that it's finally here, it's hard to say the wait was easy...but it is completely easy to say it was worth it.

Loki (Tom Hiddleston from "Thor") has made a dicey deal with the Chitauri to unleash the end-game war on Earth, using the fabled Tesseract -- a supernatural cube that holds the key to unspeakable energy.  With his hands tied, Nick Fury (once again played by Samuel L. Jackson) gives the go on The Avengers Initiative, assembling Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Steve Rogers (aka Captain America, played by Chris Evans), Tony Stark (aka Iron Man, played by Robert Downey Jr), and Bruce Banner (aka The Hulk, now played by Mark Ruffalo) to defend the Earth, along with S.H.I.E.L.D agents Natasha "Black Widow" Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) and Clint "Hawkeye" Barton (Jeremy Renner, who made a brief uncredited cameo in "Thor") to assist "Earth's greatest heroes" in doing the impossible:  save the world.


Joss Whedon (most famous for TV's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Angel", and cult favorite "Firefly", which spawned the movie "Serenity" in 2005), who took the reigns as writer and director, knocks it out of the park.  Combining adrenaline-pumping action, razor-sharp wit, dark humor, and beautiful imagery makes this movie bang on all cylinders.  Given a budget of $220 million, the biggest budget he has ever worked with as a director, Whedon, who is no stranger to Marvel Comics, having written for many titles, including a critically acclaimed run on "The Astonishing X-Men", was able to follow up the devilishly clever "The Cabin in the Woods" (which he served as producer and screenwriter) earlier this year to 2012's top grossing film of the year.  And, for once, the honor means something.


Performance-wise, the film couldn't be better.  As always, Robert Downey Jr, Chris Hemsworth (who also starred in Whedon's "Cabin in the Woods"), Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson and Jeremy Renner shine brightly in their respective roles.  However, anyone familiar with the previous Marvel movies (or 2010's "The Town") would know this is no surprise.  The biggest surprises are Chris Evans and Mark Ruffalo.  Evans, who comes back as Captain America (who, back in 2005 and 2007, played Johnny Storm, The Human Torch, in both "Fantastic Four" movies) has come a long way since lampooning Freddie Prinze Jr in "Not Another Teen Movie", and has become quite the actor, leading vastly more seasoned actors in the ensemble dream movie to end all ensemble movies.  And Ruffalo does the unthinkable...surpasses Edward Norton's brilliant turn as Banner.  While Norton has exhibited his dark side in previous movies, like "Primal Fear", "American History X" and "Red Dragon", Mark Ruffalo has nearly always played the assuming every-man, like in roles such as "Just Like Heaven" and "You Can Count On Me" (sure, he had a dark turn in "In The Cut", but do you remember that movie? Yeah, neither do I).  It's this assuming nature of Ruffalo's demeanor that makes him the perfect Bruce Banner...so when he "Hulks out", you REALLY feel it.


Seeing the movie is a treat all on its own, but seeing it in 3D is the best way to experience this film (if you can find a way to see this in IMAX 3D, DO IT!!!!!!).  Unlike "Thor" and "Captain America", where the 3D conversions were fairly bad and nearly unnecessary, this film utilizes the best 3D technology out there, making the film shine like diamonds.


Is there anything left to say here that hasn't been said here?  By the time of this posting, the film has made over $524 million in domestic box office, over $1.3 BILLION worldwide, and has won critics and audiences many times over.  This isn't just an action film.  This is an action masterpiece.  Whedon's flair for magnificent storytelling combined with a dream cast and Disney's willingness to do it right the first time, and you have the film that will forever change the comic book movie game forever. 


FINAL VERDICT:  "The Avengers" is the movie that is every bit worth the hype.  Whether you've seen all the Marvel movies or simply just love action movies, it matters not.  This movie will satisfy all tastes.