Movie Review: "The Watch"

This is been one hell of a Summer Blockbuster Season!

From the stunning array of filmmaking that was "The Avengers" to the under-rated excellence of "Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World" to the breath-taking "The Dark Knight Rises", we've probably seen some of the best films to come out in a long time -- Summer movie or otherwise.  However, some times, we just need to have a little fun when we go to the movies.

"The Watch" (formerly [aptly] titled "Neighborhood Watch") is one movie that's just a good time at the movies.  Perhaps not as poignant as "Moonrise Kingdom", deep as "The Dark Knight Rises", or rocking as "The Avengers, "The Watch" still manages to give you what it promises to do from the previews -- entertain you.

After the violent death of a Costco night watchman, Costco manager Evan (Ben Stiller) takes it upon himself to start a neighborhood watch program to protect the citizens of his small Ohio town, as well as track down the watchman's killer.  Due to complete lack of interest in the community, Evan is saddled with the beer-guzzling contractor Bob (Vince Vaughn), borderline sociopath Franklin (Jonah Hill), and randy Brit Jamarcus ("The IT Crowd"'s Richard Ayoade).  While investigating the grisly murder, the boys of the neighborhood watch discover something they never thought of finding...a potential alien invasion!  With lack of cooperation from local police Sgt. Bressman (Will Forte) and the entire community, the watch is left to stop an impending  alien invasion on their own, without a single clue on how to do it.

Director Akiva Schaffer ("Superbad", founding member of comedy  group The Lonely Island) brings the funny by gathering such talent together and making them shine together in this comedic mayhem.  However, it's writing partners Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg ("Superbad", "The Green Hornet"), along with Jared Stern ("Mr. Popper's Penguins") create a screenplay that is both funny and action packed -- perfect for the Summer season.  

Getting a cast like this is a comedic miracle.  Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill are often brilliant on their own, but, put them together, they're unbeatable!  The timing and the chemistry is flawless, and you can tell they had a hell of fun time filming this movie together.  Add in virtual newcomer Richard Ayoade to American shores, who fits in perfectly and never misses a beat with these comedic heavyweights, and you have a team that is one to be reckoned with.

A crazy as the action and side-splitting as the comedy is, "The Watch" is most brilliant when it's honest.  Evan starts various clubs in the community due to trouble at home.  Bob is primarily the parent of an unruly teenager who, at the end of the day, is his world.  Franklin is left embittered by not making the cut at the police academy.  Like Rogen and Goldberg's previous work, "The Watch" is more poignant that it probably has any right to be, but it's a wonderful level to this unexpected gem.  

**SOAPBOX MOMENT** 

Do not believe the critics for a moment!  This is more than just a raunchy comedy.  This is a brilliant movie, even if it's not the most intellectual of movies.  Hell, "21 Jump Street" was awesome, though not the smartest, and critics LOVE that one.  What's the difference?  Damned if I know.

FINAL VERDICT:  Perhaps not Woody Allen or Wes Anderson, "The Watch" is still a wonderful comedy with lots of heart and crazy action.  Just like any other comedy like "Superbad" or "Tower Heist", once you give the film a chance despite the poor critical reviews and the goofy appearance in the trailers, you'll see how great this can be.

Soapbox Commentary: When The Killing Joke's Not Funny

By now, I'm sure you're all aware of the shootings that took place in Aurora, CO during a midnight showing of "The Dark Knight Rises".  This is a truly tragic event of proportions that none of us can even comprehend now...or ever.  After meditating on it for several days, I finally know what I want/need to say about it all.

Perhaps this claim will make me unpopular for a while, but hear me out...

The shooting in Aurora could very well become this generation's 9/11.  Perhaps not on scale with the amount of victims.  Not by a long shot.  And I suppose that, seeing this act wasn't by an anti-American extremist group in the Middle East but by a loan American citizen, this could be closer to the Oklahoma City bombings  in 1995.  Once again, I'm not saying it in terms of victims, but in terms of what it means to us as Americans.

What scares me even worse about the shootings is who they were aimed at.  This wasn't the act of the Taliban calling a jihad on us.  This wasn't the act of a man severely pissed off at the government for what he felt were crimes against him.  No.  This was the act of one man, 24-year-old James Holmes, who, instead of instead of trying to punish the government, decided to take whatever demons were in his head out on a theater filled with men, women, and children who wanted nothing more to see "The Dark Knight Rises", the movie that people have been waiting to see for a year or more.  This was a specific group of people he was angry at, where their only crime was going to the wrong showing.

Why?  Who knows?

Some say he was convinced he was The Joker -- apparently he even told people he was The Joker the night of the showing in his head-to-toe body armor and gas mask.  When searching Holmes' apartment, authorities found several items of Batman paraphernalia, including an actual Batman mask.

The point is not about why.

The point is that this sick bastard attacked these people in the last sanctuary for escape the majority of us have anymore.  Sporting events are getting more expensive, and are weather permitting.  Concerts are sporadic at best and are a hell of a lot more expensive than sporting events.  And, yes, it's cheaper to stay at home and watch T.V., but, to get that true escapism without actually leaving town?  You go to the movies.  Don't believe me?  Look at the box office figures for the last four years.  Movie tickets have been selling more and more each year, and, because of this, we've been seeing an increase of actual quality in movies.

Now, at the most anticipated movie of, not just the Summer, but the year, Holmes opens fire.  Whether you agree or not, the numbers don't lie.  "The Dark Knight Rises", the only movie poised to beat "The Avengers"' stellar run, opened up at $160 million -- over $40 million less than "The Avengers"' opening weekend figures.    I'll admit I was looking around the theater at every person who twitched in their seats or got up and left for any reason when I saw the movie.

Personally, I can't look at the footage of the shootings without thinking of the old theater I went to all the time.  The shootings took place at a Century 16 theater in Aurora.  For years, I lived in walking distance of a Century 16 that would spend literally full weekends at.  For me, at least, this is simple...these shootings could have happened anywhere.  So much that this fact more than likely scared many moviegoers away -- subconsciously or otherwise.  No one wants to admit that James Holmes scared them, but, even if you go to the movies once a month or less, any one of us could have been one of the twelve unfortunate souls who lost their lives all because they have a love of the movies.

So, in the end, what do we do?  Here's what I'm going to do...

I'm going to keep going to the movies.

It's not just for my obsession with the movies.  It's not just because I cherish all my loyal fans like you reading this article.  Both are true...

But if you think I'm going to let that son of bitch James Holmes stop me from going to the movies, you've got another thing coming.

There will always be mad men like Holmes out there.  And the way to ensure he or any of them lose is to keep going to the movies.  The amount of camaraderie at the theater has increased since all of this because now we're going to look out for each other.

Sorry, Holmes.  After all your hard work, you're creating more closeness amongst moviegoers.  It is a tragedy those poor souls died and my heart and prayers are with their families and friends.  But to stop going to the movies would be to allow them to die in vain -- something I refuse to do.

Movie Review: "The Dark Knight Rises"

When words elude you after the seeing a movie, writing the review for said movie is a daunting task.  Where to start?  What to talk about?  How can you form thoughts into tangible sentences when that you have seen leaves you so awe-stricken and speechless, the words can no easier be formed with your mouth than with your fingers?

After seeing "The Dark Knight Rises", the end of Christopher Nolan's trilogy, this is the state I find myself in. It's easy to rant about a film I hated.  It's fun raving about a movie I loved.  But when you see a film that's this close to perfection, conveying that perfection in a professional manner is something I've never quite perfected.  

Picking up eight years after the events of the last chapter, we find Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) in reclusive recovery while his faithful butler Alfred (Michael Caine) keeps a close eye on him.  Since the mayor and Police Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) have instated The Dent Act, the streets of Gotham are safe, making Wayne feel content to retire from the masked vigilante game.  

That is until international mercenary Bane (Tom Hardy) decides to take shop in Gotham, bringing a new form of chaos to the city unlike anything it's ever seen before.  With the help of new hothead detective John Blake (Joseph Gordon-Leavitt), entrepreneur Miranda Tate (Marion Coutillard),  crafty R&D director Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman),  and mischievous cat burglar Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway), Wayne dons the cape and cowl once more save Gotham from the whims of a madman.  However, Bane has many tricks up his sleeve, and Batman may face his toughest battle yet -- both physically and emotionally. 

Director Christopher Nolan ("Inception"), who also co-wrote the script with his brother Jonathon Nolan ("Memento", "The Prestige", and "The Dark Knight", all co-written and directed by Chris), accomplished a feat no one thought possible by making a Batman movie better than his own "Dark Knight".  Even without Heath Ledger playing The Joker, Chris and John Nolan make a glorious film with arguably less than what was at their disposal while keeping the film grounded in reality, yet still fantastical enough for the fans.  Add in Chris Nolan's brilliant eye for filming, and you have a film that is not only a feast for the eyes, but a story that is gut-wrenching and brilliant.

Bale, Freeman, Oldman, and Caine all come back in the roles they started back in 2004's "Batman Begins", and they allude to Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent and Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachael Dawes from 2008's "The Dark Knight".  However, it's the newcomers that need the round of applause here.  Tom Hardy dominates the screen as Bane, the wicked mastermind behind the imminent destruction of Gotham.  Complete with a creepy dialect and eerie mask, Hardy plays the villain worthy of a Batman movie.  Anne Hathaway is brilliant as Catwoman Selina Kyle.  Razor wit and cunning acrobatic tricks, all in a costume that (for once) doesn't make her look like a street walker, Hathaway plays the perfect anti-hero, making it hard not to root for her when she's kicking ass and getting away with murder.  But the brilliant surprise is Joseph Gordon-Leavitt's John Blake, a young hothead who, though brash, is quick on his feet and gets the job done that no one is willing to do.  Though not without secrets of his own, Blake is still an honest cop, and Leavitt steals the show with superb delivery, shining screen presence, and natural charisma.  Don't be shocked if he gets a Best Supporting Actor nomination somewhere during Awards Season.

"The Dark Knight Rises" is the final chapter in Nolan's Batman trilogy, and the send-off is awe-inspiring.  What was once though as a huge risk, the trilogy is what Batman fans truly deserved, and it's refreshing to see a superhero movie (let alone three of them) not fly off in fanciful, ludicrous directions (Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher, we're glaring at you) and stay true to not only the source material, but to reality as well.  Even if this wasn't a Batman movie, it's still a wonderful movie.  Beautifully shot (if you can, see it IMAX...you'll thank me later), masterfully written, and brilliantly executed.  By the end of the movie, I was in shock, rendered speechless, and thoroughly blown away.  And I guarantee you will be too.

FINAL VERDICT:  "The Dark Knight Rises" is not only a masterpiece, but an experience and, by far, the best installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy. Brilliant visuals and a compelling script -- with surprises at every turn, shocking revelations, and an ending you'll be talking about for weeks (at least), this film cannot be beaten.

Soapbox Commentary: The Other Movies of Summer of 2012...Or How I Learned To Love The "Bombs"

Summer Blockbuster Season 2012 is almost at an end, and so I thought I would revisit some of the highlights of the season's biggest hits, biggest surprises, and the rest.

It goes without saying that anyone thinking about this season will think about two movie at first thought -- "The Avengers" and "The Dark Knight Rises".  "The Avengers", with an incredible, unforeseen dominance this season with an unthinkable $614+ million domestic take ($1.5+ BILLION worldwide take) has become the #3 movie of all-time everywhere...and "The Dark Knight Rises" is poised to shatter its records.  With early figures estimating an opening day of $85 million ($30.6 million from midnight showings), it's possible that "The Dark Knight Rises" will break the 3-day record "The Avengers" set back in May. (Due to the tragic shooting in Colorado, Warner Bros has announced they will not release the actual figures of the opening weekend until Monday.) And in terms of critic and audience reception, there hasn't been a movie that has made both crowds unite like these two films.  

And then there's the rest...yeah.

Look, the argument can be made that "The Avengers" was never estimated to become the juggernaut it did (pun is partially intended), so no other studio saw is that big of a risk.  Sure, no one released another major release the week of its debut, but that's standard for a movie of this magnitude.  However, the numbers don't lie.  Releasing an action movie between "The Avengers" and "The Dark Knight Rises" has clearly been a mistake of catastrophic proportions.  In fact, it seems releasing ANY movie during that time has resulted in diminished results.  Don't believe me?  Let me show you...

**NOTE:  All figures listed in this article are as of 7/19/2012**

*THE SUCCESSES*

"MEN IN BLACK 3" (May 25, 2012) Domestic: $175+ million, Worldwide $614+ million

Fifteen years after the original "Men in Black" showed us that aliens exist all around us, "Men In Black 3", the sequel we never thought we'd need, has made its mark on the box office in a big way, and is the only successful action movie between "The Avengers" and "The Dark Knight Rises".  Not only does it bring our favorite odd couple Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones back to the big screen, but, with a story that neatly (and poignantly) ties back to the original two movies, made viewers realize how much they loved the series to begin with.  As an added note, this was the first film in its first three weeks since its May 4th debut to knock "The Avengers" from the #1 spot at the box office.

"MADAGASCAR 3:  EUROPE'S MOST WANTED" (JUNE 8, 2012) Domestic: $206+ million, Worldwide: $476+ million

It seems animated films haven't felt the affects of the aforementioned one-two combination of the season, and "Madagascar 3:  Europe's Most Wanted" is a good example of this.  Granted, I haven't seen any of the movies since the first one (because I hated the first one), but, once again, the numbers don't lie.  "Madagascar 3" caused one of the biggest upsets of the season:  stealing the weekend from the poised king "Prometheus".  And "Prometheus" hasn't even come close to recouping from losing that weekend either.  Of course, with a unique story from the other two (the animals join a traveling circus and wind up in Europe), it's clear that if you give your audience something new, they'll come in droves.

"BRAVE" (June 22, 2012) Domestic: $202+ million, Worldwide: $249+ million

Disney/Pixar's newest release "Brave" was poised for success from day one.  The first original story since 2009's "Up", "Brave" had mass appeal with critics, audiences and families, giving young girls a new role model with Merida (think a Scottish Katniss Everdeen) and Pixar it's next $200 million maker.  Since last year's "Cars 2" was the first film of theirs to fail to do that, "Brave" shows that Pixar is still king of the animated film.

"TED" (June 29, 2012) Domestic: $170+ million, Worldwide: $202+ million

When an R-rated comedy can stand out among giants like "The Avengers", you have to take notice.  Especially in a year when other R-rated comedies "The Dictator" and "That's My Boy" bombed big time, "Ted" comes in, stealing the #1 spot from second-weekend favorite "Brave" and making money similar to "The Hangover".  As "Brave" proved, you give your audience a solid, original story, and audiences will come.  Of course, it didn't hurt that this was the first live action debut from "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane and featured a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking teddy bear.  Priceless.

"THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN" (July 3, 2012) Domestic: $217+ million, Worldwide: $538+ million

What started as the much-maligned, least-wanted reboot of Sam Raimi's "Spider-Man" franchise turned into a sensation to beheld.  "The Amazing Spider-Man" has defied the odds and quickly became a hit film.  Starting back from the beginning, showing a new spin on the Spider-Man story where we see Peter Parker's parents leaving, his relationship with Gwen Stacy, and merely hinting at Norman Osborne's presence rather than making him the villain in its first outing, "The Amazing Spider-Man" is a force to be reckoned with.  Andrew Garfield is the perfect Peter Parker, giving fans the Spider-Man they deserve.  Much like "Batman Begins", the figures for this film are not even close to the original franchise's grosses.  But, since this is a "dreaded reboot", the sequel will more than likely do a lot better.  Hell, look at "The Dark Knight".

*THE MISSES*

"DARK SHADOWS" (May 11, 2012) Domestic: $77+ million, Worldwide: $234+ million

Timing is everything, people.  It's not that "Dark Shadows" was a bad movie.  In fact, far from it.  But it was the first film to be released the week after "The Avengers" when people thought it would be a hit, not the #3 highest grossing film of all time.  Therefore, "Dark Shadows" was relegated to the shadows and forgotten about.  This is tragically not the only time this season Tim Burton and writer Seth Grahame-Smith will suffer from bad timing.

"THE DICTATOR" (May 16, 2012) Domestic: $59+ million, Worldwide: $156+ million

After hits "Borat" and "Bruno", Sacha Baron Cohen released "The Dictator" seeing a hat-trick.  What actually happened was uglier than a Middle East peace talk breakdown.  This proves that Cohen's schtick of  foreign accent-offensive movie is losing its appeal, and perhaps people are getting sick of him.  Sad, though, seeing that this by far his best movie of the three.

"BATTLESHIP" (May 18, 2012) Domestic: $64+ million, Worldwide $301+ million

"Miss!"  Sorry, I couldn't resist.

But that's the best way to sum it up really.  Though it was a fair success oversees, the truth of the matter is simple:  taking a board game with no real plot to speak of and making a movie of it by simply adding aliens is a really bad idea.  I haven't seen audiences reject a movie this quickly since "Batman and Robin".

"PROMETHEUS" (June 8, 2012) Domestic: $124+ million, Worldwide: $299+ million


Pardon my giggling, but, by writing this, I can already hear the fanboys bitching that I'm calling this a miss-fire.

But sorry, fellas!  Numbers don't lie!  In a year that a talking teddy bear can amass over $170 million domestic in only 3 weeks, "Prometheus" is a bomb, pure and simple.  What was supposed to be a "thinking man's movie" only made audiences think "Why did I just spend my money on that?".  If this season has taught us anything, it's that a solid original story will triumph over a stale one.  And when the filmmakers tried too hard to force this to be the prequel to "Alien", it only makes audience reject it quicker.

"ROCK OF AGES" (July 15, 2012) Domestic: $37+ million, Worldwide: $49+ million


As much as I would love to defend this movie here, the numbers make it very difficult to do so.  As hilarious as it was to watch Tom Cruise adorn a crystal demon head codpiece and sing "Wanted Dead Or Alive" and "Poor Some Sugar On Me", the rest of the film didn't have a lot to offer for everyone.  It was too silly to be taken serious, but a few serious scenes made it so people couldn't take the film at face value.  Not to mention the film was completely mismarketed.  Fans of the original musical didn't show up because they made the film more family friendly, but the film itself is far from family friendly (did I mention Tom Cruise wears a crystal demon head codpiece?), making it hard to find any audience at all.

"ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER" (June 22, 2012) Domestic: $36+ million, Worldwide: $65+ million

Timing truly is everything, people.  Producer Tim Burton and writer Seth Grahame-Smith failed to find an audience again with the adaptation of Grahame-Smith's New York Times' Best-Seller of the same name.  Granted, they changed many things in the book (including the ending, which was a personal tragedy for me), but the truth is simple: it went up against "Brave", and everyone knows that Pixar will win about 90% of the time.  Most audiences were expecting a satire on US History with its title, but that's not what this was at all.  This is an earnest action movie with great performances, wonderful action sequences, and a hell of a lot of heart.  Too bad audiences didn't see it.

However, fear not.  Considering Kevin Smith on his new show "Spoilers" gave this film a glowing review, it will most likely have a cult following by the time it comes out on DVD and Blu-Ray.

"SEEKING A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD" (June 22, 2012) Domestic: 7+ million, Worldwide: 7+ million (was not released oversees)


It pains me to list this movie as a miss.  What is easily one of my favorite of the season (not to mention the year), "Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World" was simply too dark and honest of a movie to connect with domestic audiences.  I guarantee if this film would've received a release oversees, it would have been a hit on foreign shores.  Though the film bombed here, I wouldn't be surprised if this became a hit when the Awards Season comes around.  At least critics see what I saw in this.

Two-Cent Review: "Mirror Mirror"

**original release:  3/30/2012**

This Summer, we saw Kristen Stewart taking on the evil queen in this season's surprise sensation "Snow White & The Huntsman".  So, I figured, now that's it's on video, I would revisit the first Snow White film this year.


While also a re-imagining of the classic Grimm tale, "Mirror Mirror" puts a bizarre comedy spin on the Snow White legend in order to stand alone from the others.  While it was a valiant effort, this Snow White tale looks more like the poison apple.


After taking over the land once the king disappears, The Queen (Julia Roberts) rules the kingdom and the land falls into a permanent Winter.  While fighting off the inevitable effects of aging and dealing with a financial crisis, The Queen thinks that marrying a younger rich man will help her image with her constituents.  And she finds that in Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer), even though he has no interest in her whatsoever.  Meanwhile, Snow White (Lily Collins) manages to escape the walls of the castle, winds up in the woods, and  runs into the dwarves who give her the strength and confidence to take on the Queen's forces.  Oh yeah, and she falls in love with Prince Alcott.  I would have said "Spoiler Alert", but, if you didn't figure that would happen, you need to read more.


Director Tarsem Singh ("The Fall", "The Cell") and writers Jason Keller ("Machine Gun Preacher"), Marc Klein ("Serendipity"), and Melisa Wallack (the dark and sublimely funny "Meet Bill") show that conflicting movie styles can screw up a movie.  The visual styles of Singh are wonderful here, but the script is a convoluted mess.  Keller being an action/drama writer, Klein a romantic comedy writer, and Wallack being a dark comedy writer, making a family film didn't seem like it would something they could all collaborate on.  After seeing the film, it turns out they really couldn't in any kind of competent manner.


 The cast is mediocre at best.  Lily Collins is the only wonderful cast member here.  Julia Roberts is annoying at best when she's trying this hard to be funny.  Armie Hammer was bland and somewhat useless.  The worst offender?  Nathan Lane as The Queen's hapless assistant Brighton.  He's imbecilic and unfunny throughout the entire movie, and, at 106 minutes, shouldn't have felt this long.

"Mirror Mirror", aside from some fairly interesting comedic action sequences, only has about a half-hour's worth of true entertainment.  And trust me, that's being generous.  Not only that, but it's sadly inconsistent.  One minute, Snow White is showing that she can stand on her own and be brave (and often fairly kick-ass), but the next she's a starry-eyed, boy-crazy princess.  It's really sad when Kristen Stewart can play the part better.  In anything.

MY TWO CENTS:  If you're looking for a great Snow White movie, "Mirror Mirror" is not what you're looking for.  While "Snow White & The Huntsman" is still playing in some theaters currently, it'll be on video before you know it, and then you can enjoy it at home.  For now, "Mirror Mirror" is a poor substitute for a good family film like "Brave" or a Snow White film like the one mentioned before.  Let's hope they have better luck with the new Sleeping Beauty comedy coming out next year.

Video Back-Log: "Jeff, Who Lives At Home"

In 2008, a movie came out called "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", which starred "How I Met Your Mother" star Jason Segel.  Even today, I'm not a huge TV viewer, so I had never seen "HIMYM" before, so this was the first time I had seen Segel in a starring role before.  It turns out he's really good!  And so I continue to see everything he's been involved in -- everything from "Slackers" to "Knocked Up" to "The Muppets".

"Jeff, Who Lives At Home" is the latest Jason Segel vehicle.  Most of Segel's movies are side-splittingly hilarious, but this one certainly is not.  Sure, it's funny, but it's so much more than that.  What appears to be a comedy here turned out to be an experience unlike any other.

At the beginning of the film, we find Jeff (Segel), a 30-year old slacker who is trying to figure out his destiny and sees signs from the heavens in the oddest places, is tasked by his mother Sharon (Susan Sarandon) to fix the blinds in the basement where he resides.  In the process to get to Home Depot to get the wood glue required, Jeff manages to get mugged, to get in a car wreck, to inadvertently help  his brother Pat (Ed Helms) discover his wife Linda (Judy Greer) is cheating on him, and, at the end of it all, find out what everything truly means.

Writer/director team Mark and Jay Duplass ("Baghead", The Puffy Chair") nail it again with another surreal comedy that leaves you in awe.  While not as out there as "Puffy Chair" or dark as "Baghead", this movie makes you question everything about not just what's going on in the film, but in your own life as well.  The characters and dialogue are completely relatable (let's face it, you know someone like Jeff or Pat), and the situations are so outrageous at times, you don't know whether to laugh or cry, often resulting in a combination of the two.

As great as it was seeing Susan Sarandon in a fairly big movie since 2008's "Speed Racer" (which I'm fairly confident in saying no one either remembers or wants to remember), the film is all about Jason Segel and Ed Helms.  Segel plays against type with Jeff, showing a much softer side than we've ever seen him.  Segel plays Jeff in a subdued way, bringing out a rich deep performance I never assumed him capable of.  Ed Helms plays asshole very well, and his portrayal of Pat is no exception.  It's not until the anger and hostility melt away in the third act that made Helms' performance a true treasure.

What makes "Jeff, Who Lives At Home" a wonder to behold is the story.  From the opening seen where Jeff is talking about why "Signs" is his favorite movie to every surreal step of his journey to find meaning in his life, the movie takes us along for the ride as we see the world through a hapless dreamer who may know more than he lets on by his goofy exterior.  Much like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", "Jeff, Who Lives At Home" takes a journey we never thought possible, and it's amazing to see how it all turns out.

FINAL VERDICT:  "Jeff, Who Lives At Home" shows brilliant performances from Jason Segel and Ed Helms while it steals your breath and heart with this tale of finding your destiny in the most unlikely of situations.  Though not the typical comedy or drama by any stretch of the imagination, you will be surprised how deep a movie with Jason Segel can be.

Two-Cent Review: "Safe House"

**original release date: 2/10/2012**

Every now and then, you'll see a movie advertised that you have no idea what the film is about simply because the preview only hypes up the movie based on who is in it.  "The Expendables" is a great example of this.  Watch the preview.  You won't have any idea of what the movie is about, but you don't care because of the cast.

"Safe House" was one of those films.  The preview pretty much consisted of Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, and a lot of shit blowing up.  It seemed that it didn't need anything else because it did well at the box office.  After seeing it, I was left feeling like that's literally all the movie was too.

After a secretive information exchange goes down poorly, U.S. traitor Tobin Frost (Washington) decides to be bold and go to the U.S. consulate and turns himself in.  The C.I.A. takes him to a safe house in the middle of nowhere, being ran by analyst Matt Weston (Reynolds), who has never seen any action in the field.  Not soon after Frost arrives, the safe house is compromised, forcing Weston and Frost to run.  The more Weston probes Frost about what happened, the more questions come up as the clock ticks down.

Director Daniel Espinosa makes his American film debut here with screenwriter David Guggenheim to make a fairly complicated action movie.  The only reason I say this film is complicated is because the dialogue, compared to the score and action sequences, is extremely quiet.  And the trouble is that seemingly all the important dialogue is practically whispered, so it's quite difficult to know what the hell is going on half the time.

Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds are two of my favorite actors, but the chemistry between the two is not as compelling as what you would think.  Washington is brilliant as usual, playing up the creepy and manipulative nature of Tobin Frost very well.  Reynolds, however, plays his part extremely flat and flacid.  I've been watching his films for a long time, and I know he's a lot better than this.  Hell, his performance in "Smokin' Aces" was better than this, and that film was horrible.  I expected much more.

Aside from the inaudible dialogue, the problem with "Safe House" is over-predictable nature of the film's plot.  A character will say something about what will probably happen, and then it happens not even five minutes after it has been said.  Washington says to Reynolds: "Do you think I'm going to let you walk me that door?"  Five minutes later, he manages to escape.  Is it truly necessary to telegraph every action so the audience can follow the bouncing ball?  Maybe that's why a lot of the dialogue was so quiet.  Sure the action sequences were pretty cool.  Too bad the story wasn't as compelling as the action.

MY TWO CENTS:  "Safe House" is that rare Denzel Washington film that misses the mark.  Even with Ryan Reynolds, this film never quite takes off and lives up the potential it could have had.  This is a great example of how the cast is bigger than the movie.  Call me crazy, but I expect good writing with good cast and action.  Better luck next time I suppose.

Soapbox Commentary: Year of the Woman 2012

This year, we've seen a huge spike in box office receipts that we haven't seen for quite some time.  2012's ticket sales continue to break records left and right, and it's only bound to go up from here.

Why you may ask?

Once again, studio executives and filmmakers realized that both men AND women are attending the movies in droves.  Not only that, but women are showing to be more consistent movie-goers than men (at least one of the records broken this year as during Super Bowl Sunday).  So, instead of keeping things at the status quo, we've been seeing a spike in films featuring strong-willed, independent -- often ass-kicking -- female protagonists who refuse to settle for the damsel in distress role.  These are not only strong characters, but these are role models for the younger generations.

This used to be a concept that wasn't lost on our filmmakers.  Hell, who can forget Ellen Ripley kicking ass and taking names in the "Alien" movies?   But sadly we've had a cinematic drought for kick-ass women, leaving us with punchlines rather than role models.

Okay.  So we've seen Alice from the "Resident Evil" movies and Selene from the "Underworld" movies, but I will make the argument that these are still poor examples because they kicked ass in skin-tight leather outfits and/or outfits that showed a lot of skin, making them more geek porn fodder than what I would even think of passing for a decent role model.  On TV, we used to have Buffy and Willow from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and Zoe Washburn and River Tam from "Firefly" (and the movie "Serenity") thanks to Joss Whedon, but, like all good shows,  they got cancelled.

If you want quality examples of good role models in recent years, the only heroines that come to mind are Pepper Potts from "Iron Man" and Tiana from "The Princess and the Frog".  Yes, she's a "Disney princess", but she's the only one who kept her dreams in full view and refused to settle for less.

However, it goes to stand that, for every Tiana, we get four "Twilight" movies, and, for those of you keeping score, Bella makes the worst role model in the history of cinematic history.  Yes, she's strong-willed, but she gives up everything she is to be with Edward for eternity.  She allows herself to be defined by a relationship, giving up all opportunities to better herself for a boy.  Indeed, this is what we've been allowing our daughters to live up to.  Words cannot express my shame.

This year, though, has given us strong, intelligent, independent heroines that we can be proud to have the next generation look up to.


KATNISS EVERDEEN (Jennifer Lawrence), "THE HUNGER GAMES"


How can I have a list like this without including the year's most kick-ass heroine?  Coming off her role as Mystique in "X-Men First Class", Jennifer Lawrence ditched the body paint and picked up a bow and arrow.  


Katniss Everdeen is the true definition of a role model.  She's strong-willed, thinks for herself, truly takes no shit from anybody.  Katniss is a survivor, a rebel, and a fighter.  More importantly though, she sticks to her ideals when the chips are stacked against her, and protects those she cares about to the final bloody end.  Yes, Katniss has Peeta, but Katniss spends more time saving Peeta than the other way around.  Not only that, but Katniss doesn't allow herself to be defined by their relationship.  Nay, Katniss is not on the hunt for the perfect mate (Bella, we're still glaring at you).  She is on the hunt to survive so she can come home to her family safe and sound.  In the end, Katniss refuses to be a puppet for the Capital and the Games.  


The sequel, "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire" comes out next year.

NATASHA ROMANOFF/BLACK WIDOW (Scarlett Johansson), "THE AVENGERS"

While we were only left with a taste of her in "Iron Man 2", S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Natasha Romanoff starts off the year's highest grossing movie with a no-holds-barred action sequence where she quite literally takes out more than a dozen bad guys with her hands tied behind her back.  Thanks to Joss Whedon, we have yet again another heroine to celebrate.

Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with big league heroes Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, and her boss Nick Fury, Agent Romanoff holds her own with little to no help, becoming a force to be reckoned with as the lone female Avenger in Whedon's stunning adaptation.

In all fairness, Romanoff wears a tight leather outfit of her own pretty much through the bulk of the movie, but, unlike Alice from "Resident Evil" and Selene from "Underworld", there are no shots of her moving in any provocative manner while she's dispatching evil doers, making her less of a sex symbol and more of a kick-ass heroine.  Is Romanoff a role model?  Hell yes she is!  As "The Avengers" showed, saving the world is very much a male-dominated game, and Romanoff holds her own with the rest of them.


 SNOW WHITE (Kristen Stewart), "SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN"


"Snow White And The Huntsman" turned a lot of heads last month by defying expectations and over-performing even what its studio had estimated.  Why?  


Kristen Stewart drops the Bella act (even if it's just for a little while), picks up a sword, and goes to town in this thrilling re-imagining of the classic tale as the titular character.  Fighting off hordes of demons and ultimately leading the rebellion against the Evil Queen's army, Snow White puts her "happily ever after" on hold while she makes sure there is peace in the land. 


Not even allowing herself to be distracted by the hulky Huntsman or her long-lost male friend (who definitely is easy on the eyes himself), Snow White lets nothing stand in her way of her ultimate quest.  

So, for those of you keeping score at home, Kristen Stewart plays a character who is faced with a love triangle...and doesn't care.  Too bad the sequel to this one isn't looking too hot and the last "Twilight" movie comes out in the fall.  I was starting to get used to this.

MERIDA (voiced by Kelly MacDonald), "BRAVE"

Disney stikes again with a great heroine for the ages.  Much like Katniss, Merida prefers to sharpen her skills as a marksman (markswoman?) than pick a mate.  Willing to disregard everything her parents have done to ensure she will be able to take over the kingdom, Merida fights for her right to have a say in her fate.

When the chips are down, Merida does not take it lightly.  She jumps into action and solves the problem rather than stewing in it and allowing her world to end.  Instead of bowing down and allowing others to decide which hand she should choose, Merida chooses a hand of her own.

**HONORABLE MENTION**

SELINA KYLE/CATWOMAN (Anne Hathaway), "THE DARK KNIGHT RISES"

Though "The Dark Knight Rises" doesn't come out for another week, this list would be incomplete without Catwoman on it!

Throwing out everything that 2004's "Catwoman" did with the costume (I still maintain ladies of the night wouldn't be caught dead in that hellish get-up), Christopher Nolan chose a very modest, unique take on the Catwoman suit, and Anne Hathaway, judging by the previews, plays Selina Kyle as a crafty, plotting villain rather than simply walking sex.

Considering how Nolan has brought all the other characters from the "Batman" mythos to a unique light, it'll be fun to see what will happen with Catwoman.  But I think it's safe to say Anne Hathaway's portrayal will be reverent and amazing, and it will be another performance worthy to earn a place on this list.

Video Back-Log: "Chronicle"

**original release date: 2/3/2012**

With "The Avengers" and "The Amazing Spider-Man" making a huge splash at the box office, and "The Dark Knight Rises" just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to revisit 2012's first big superhuman movie.

"Chronicle" is the latest film in the "found footage" craze that's hit Hollywood.  Using only a couple hand-held digital cameras and unique camera tricks, "Chronicle" manages to provide a similarly thrilling and gripping tale as the typical summer blockbuster while only utilizing less than half of one's budget.

The film follows three high schoolers:  bookworm Andrew (Dane DeHaan), Andrew's more popular cousin Matt (Alex Russell), and the school's star football player Steve (Michael B. Jordan).  When the three of them make a bizarre discovery in a cave during a party, the three of them realize that they are starting to develop bizarre and strange powers, such as telekinesis, superhuman strength, and levitation.  While Steve and Matt use their new powers as new ways of amusing themselves, Andrew slowly becomes more and more obsessed with his new strength, and we see more and more the mental affects they take on him.

Director Josh Trank and screenwriter Max Landis both make their feature film debuts in a stunning way here with "Chronicle".  With a modest budget of $12 million, Trank and Landis create a visual masterpiece of amazing feats and incredible madness that is unique and horrifying -- often in the same breath.  (20th Century Fox has just hired Josh Trank to direct their reboot of "Fantastic Four", so we'll see what he can do with a budget.)

Much like "Paranormal Activity", the film that started the whole "found footage" trend, these two have made a film that will leave you speechless and wondering if the events you just watched could actually have happened.

As grand as the visuals of "Chronicle" are, the backbone of the movie are both the performances and story.  Russell and Jordan are great, but DeHaan is breath-taking as Andrew.  The transformation from meek loner to powerful superhuman is disturbing and flawless, and you don't know whether to feel sorry for him or to look over your shoulder to make sure you don't run into him later after watching this.  Much like the story that gradually goes from three kids having fun with their new toys (er, powers) to one of the dichotomy of good and evil, "Chronicle" takes us on the journey into one troubled young man's mind when he suddenly realizes he has no equal and nothing to lose in the process.

This movie is not for the faint of heart.  Though not overly graphic or gory, this film is very psychological, and that can often be worse than something you can easily predict.  And mark my words, "Chronicle" is everything but predictable.

FINAL VERDICT:  While this may not be a fun-filled romp into superhero lore, "Chronicle" is an amazing, frightening look into the flip-side of what happens when you give humans remarkable powers.  Eerily real-looking and logical, "Chronicle" is one that will still stick with you after seeing it for a long time, and, despite its disturbing nature, will have you clambering for more.

Video Back-Log: "Moneyball"

**originally released 9/23/2011**

As I said before, I'm not the biggest fan of sports movies.  But, after seeing "Goon" last weekend, I thought about trying another one out.  So I went with last year's critically acclaimed, Oscar-nominated "Moneyball".  Why not?  It has a great cast, and who doesn't like a good underdog story?

The year is 2002.  The Oakland A's have just lost another season.  Now, the A's general manager Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) is faced with the same problem he's been faced with in all the other years:  the teams with more money are picking off their best players, and the A's are left with virtually nothing.  In a desperate attempt to get back in the game, Beane hires Peter Brand (Jonah Hill), a Yale graduate with a degree in economics who has a radical concept for picking players -- don't purchase players, purchase wins and runs. When all the talent scouts, team coach Art Howe (Phillip Seymour Hoffman), and all the analysts think he's crazy, Beane does the unthinkable -- buys a team for a fraction of the cost of more "wealthy" teams and brings them to record-breaking wins.

Director Bennett Miller ("Capote") and screenwriters Aaron Sorkin ("The Social Network", "A Few Good Men") and Steven Zaillian ("Schindler's List", 2011's "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo") bring this underdog tale to life.  It's a bizarre, heartbreaking tale, and respects all audiences -- sports fans and film fans alike.  If you know nothing about baseball (like I do), you'll be able to follow the story to the last hit.

Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill are awesome here, and it's not a huge surprise why they both earned nominations at both the Oscars and the Golden Globes last year.  They put in performances that I never thought either of them capable of.  Brad Pitt manages a subtly that this film needed to be reverent to this story.  Jonah Hill is turning into quite the actor as well.  He's come a long way since "Knocked Up" and "Superbad", and, sure, his turn in "21 Jump Street" is a return to the crass movie genre,  it looks like Hill will have a wonderful career ahead of him.

"Moneyball", based on the true story, shows a wonderful, yet heart-breaking tale of how two men changed the way the game is played and looked at.  Baseball was never a sport I've enjoyed watching on TV, but this movie surprised me quite a bit.  I actually avoided seeing this film simply because it was a baseball movie.  Now I feel like an idiot for passing it up.  Hell, I loved "The Blind Side", so football movies are now in.  Now, if they could only make a good golf movie.  And, no, "Happy Gilmore" does not count.

FINAL VERDICT:  "Moneyball" is a great sports movie that is reverent to both the art of storytelling and the sport affectionately deemed as America's past-time.  If you're not a sports fan, at least see it for Pitt and Hill's performances.  I don't say this very often, but, if you haven't seen this film, you are missing out.

Movie Review: "Battleship"

In 2007, Hasbro had a tremendous success when Paramount and Michael Bay adapted "Transformers", and made a hell of a lot of money worldwide in the process.  Following up that success, Hasbro sold the rights to  G.I. Joe and made over $300 million worldwide with "G.I. Joe: The Rise of COBRA".

Trying to capitalize on all the properties they have, Hasbro is now trying to adapt their board games.  And why not?  It worked with "Clue" back in 1985, and has amassed quite the cult following.  "Battleship" is the latest attempt to cash in on their good name.  After this movie, I'm not entirely sure how good their name is now.

After a new project supported by NASA succeeds in communicating an alien race, the US NAVY, along with the NAVYs from all over the world, face an "extermination level" attack on the high seas.  Led by Lieutenant Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) and Japanese NAVY Captain Yugi Nagata (Tadanobu Asano), the battle is on before it's too late.

I wish I could say there's more to the plot than that...but there really isn't.

Director Peter Berg ("The Kingdom", "Hancock"), along with writers Erich and Jon Hoeber ("Red"), make a bizarre action film out of a board game.  If it sounds awful, you're not far off.  It's about as brainless and flat as you would expect.  Sure, it looks kinda cool at times, but that's about it.

Taylor Kitsh and Tadanobu Asano try to carry the movie themselves, but it doesn't quite work.  Mainly because they sidelined Liam Neeson as Admiral Shane throughout the entire movie, and Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker don't really make up for it.  Hell, I'm still trying to figure out from what hole they dug Peter MacNicol out of.  The rest of the supporting cast is so scattered, we never get to spend too much time with any of them.

"Battleship" is an example of what not to do with an action movie.  Unlike other alien-themed action movies this year like "The Avengers" and "Men in Black 3", they focused on both the action as well as a the relationships of the characters.  The relationship between Agents J and K.  The chemistry among all the members of The Avengers.  "Battleship" fails to fully establish any relationship between the characters -- it's mainly just humans versus aliens.  It can be entertaining to an extent, but for 2+ hours is a bit excessive.  I guess I can take solace in the fact that this wasn't as bad as "John Carter".

I would say that Hasbro has learned its lesson and will strive from here on out, but, with "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" being pushed back for an unnecessary 3D conversion and another movie based on "Clue" coming out next year, it doesn't sound like it.

FINAL VERDICT:  "Battleship", though somewhat fun, is the kind of movie that all indie movie junkies bitch about every Summer Blockbuster Season -- empty, meaningless action without the writing required to make what could be a ridiculous action movie into a great blockbuster.  It's probably why "Battleship" is thus far considered the biggest flop of the season.  You won't be bored to tears, but you won't be amazed either.

Soapbox Commentary: "Hunger" For More?

After "The Hunger Games" completely exploded last March with a total north of $400 million, Lionsgate's decision to adapt the other two books is a complete no-brainer.  Not only did it trounce every installment of "Twilight", but it started a revolution in how movies looked at.  For once, filmmakers are realizing both men AND women go to the movies, and should make movies that appeal to both sexes.

Recently, Lionsgate announced three huge decisions with the next chapters in the franchise.  Here they are...

1.  JENNA MALONE CAST AS JOHANNA MASON IN "THE HUNGER GAMES:  CATCHING FIRE"

Anyone who has read the books knows this is one of the castings that is going to be crucial.  Joanna Mason, who appears sweet at first, but later turns out to be a fierce fighter and competitor, is crucial to the story due to the alliance she forms with Katniss and Peeta in the second book.

Jenna Malone is perfect for this role.  After her amazing performance in the completely under-rated "Sucker Punch", Malone shows she can play both sweet and fierce at the drop of a hat.  Casting Malone in this role is the first step that new director Francis Lawrence is doing things right.

2.  PHILLIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN CAST AS PLUTARCH HEAVENSBEE IN "THE HUNGER GAMES:  CATCHING FIRE"

This is the other step in the right direction.  Phillip Seymour Hoffman is an amazing actor (he has an Oscar to prove it), and casting him as the mysterious new gamemaker of the 75th Annual Hunger Games in "Catching Fire" is a brilliant decision.

Heavensbee, who was in the first book but not the movie, seems to be more than he appears when we first see him at a gala put on by the Capital after the events of the of the 74th Annual Hunger Games (the end of the first movie), which makes Plutarch a suspicious character.  Hoffman does suspicious quite well, as anyone who saw his eerie performance as the main bad guy in "Mission: Impossible 3" can attest to.

3.  "MOCKINGJAY" WILL BE SPLIT INTO TWO MOVIES

This was something that I was suspecting they would do for some time now, and now it's official!  If any book needs to be split up, it's "Mockingjay".  Due to the fact that some people who read my postings here have not read the books yet, I won't go into too many details.  What I will say is that there is just too much to be covered in one book, much like "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"...except with less magic and more gruesome violence.

It also ensures that there will officially be a new installment in the franchise every year!

"The Hunger Games: Catching Fire" will be released November 22nd, 2013
"The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1" will be released November 21st, 2014
"The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2" will be released November 20th, 2015

And, for those who missed it in the theaters, "The Hunger Games" will be released on DVD and Blu-Ray on August 18th, 2012!

Movie Review: "The Amazing Spider-Man"

For almost a decade, the word "reboot" has been a four-letter word.  Aside from the whirlwind success with Christopher Nolan's Batman/Dark Knight trilogy (thus far), every other attempt at a reboot or remake has been met with disdain and discord.  So when Sony decided to reboot the Spider-Man franchise about five years after the "Spider-Man 3" left such a sour tastes in the mouths of critics and, more importantly, audiences, the groans were to be expected.

Indeed, "The Amazing Spider-Man" is a reboot.  And has absolutely nothing to do with what Sam Raimi has done with the prior three Spidey movies.  And perhaps that's the most glorious part of the movie.

Not only is this a do-over for the franchise, they're incorporating the full story from the original comics generations have loved.  Let me tell you...this is how Spider-Man is supposed to be.

Mysteriously abandoned by his parents Richard and Mary (Campbell Scott and Embeth Davidtz) and left in the care of his uncle Ben (Martin Sheen) and aunt May (Sally Field) when he was little, Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) is your run-of-the-mill high school nerd.  He loves science, takes pictures for various school functions, and quietly has a crush on classmate Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone).

When Peter finds a folder in his father's old brief case with a bizarre formula in it, he goes to Oscorp in search of his father's former colleage, Doctor Curt Conners (Rhys Ifans).  While in Oscorp, Peter is bitten by a genertically altered spider, and realizes he has similar abilities as a spider.  After developing custom web-shooters and honing his abilites, he begins a crusade to stop crime on the mean streets of New York, while dodging suspicion from his aunt and uncle, getting arrested or killed by Gwen's father Police Captain Stacy (Denis Leary), and Doctor Connors himself, who's science experiment goes terribly wrong.

Director Marc Webb ("(500) Days of Summer"), along with writers Alvin Sergant (screen story writer for "Spider-Man 2"), Steve Kloves (every Harry Potter film except Year 5) and James Vanderbilt ("Zodiac", "The Losers"), have literally thrown out everything Sam Raimi did before and finally give us the Spider-Man film we deserve.  Peter Parker is a snarky geek, they have Gwen Stacy rather than Mary Jane Watson, and ground as much of the film in a stark realism as they can.  The characters are real and relatable, and so are the situations.

Tobey who?  Who cares!  Andrew Garfield IS Peter Parker in every way, shape, and form.  They couldn't have casted this film any better.  From his gawky mannerisms, his perfect delivery, and his expressive face, Garfield is going to have a long career as Spider-Man ahead of him.  Emma Stone radiates as Gwen Stacy, showing comic book heroines don't have to be stupid (Kirsten Dunst, we're glaring at you).

The rest of the cast?  How can you not love them?  Sally Field as Aunt May.  Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben.  Denis Leary as Captain Stacy.  This is casting at its finest.

Much like what Christopher Nolan did for the Batman franchise, "The Amazing Spider-Man" is a grittier. darker take on the series.  Fans, worry not.  Peter still cracks all the jokes he did in the original comics, and the love story between he and Gwen is a endearing as you would expect.  But expect to have your breath taken away from you when the action starts up -- especially if you're seeing this in IMAX 3D.  As great as the story is, the action is pure magic.  Pulse-pounding, edge-of-your-seat magic.

FINAL VERDICT:  Forget what has come before it.  "The Amazing Spider-Man" lives up to its name.  This is the film that geeks and movie-goers will be able to agree on for once.  As awe-inspiring as it is sweet, as incredible as it is human, "The Amazing Spider-Man" is the movie that should have been made the first time around, and the new franchise I will not-so-patienty be waiting for (the sequel comes out in 2014).

Movie Review: "Moonrise Kingdom"

If there's something more I enjoy more than the big blockbusters ("The Avengers"?  Hell yes!) during Summer Blockbuster Season, it's the fabled sleeper hit.  This is a movie that is an independent film that is being shown in a quarter of the theaters the blockbuster is being shown in that cracks the Top Ten at the box office and shows up many of the bigger films.

Last year's sleeper film was "The Help".  This year?  It's "Moonrise Kingdom".  Currently being shown in less than 900 theaters in the US (in comparison, "The Amazing Spider-Man" this weekend is in more than 4,000 theaters), and it is currently making quite a bit of money.  After seeing it finally, I can see why.

It's Summer on a sleepy New England island, 1965.  Young love is in the air when Khaki Scout Sam Shakusky (Jared Gilman) devises a plan to run away with his crush Suzy Bishop (Kara Hayward).  When this happens, all hell breaks loose.  Town sheriff Captain Sharp (Bruce Willis) is trying to search for the missing children while Mr and Mrs Bishop (Bill Murray and Frances McDormand) keep intervening when they shouldn't be, Scout Master Ward (Edward Norton) is trying to keep the rest of the scouts in line, and the rest of the scouts are taking the word manhunt to its literal translation -- all while a huge tropical storm is about to hit the small island community.

Director Wes Anderson ("Rushmore", "The Darjeeling Limited"), who co-wrote the movie with Roman Coppola ("The Darjeeling Limited") to make the darkest comedic tale of young love out there.  Of course, twisted romance really isn't anything new for Wes Anderson.  He did create "Rushmore" after all.  But like "Rushmore", Anderson's penchant for making enigmatic romances amidst dark times only makes you root for the protagonists that much more.

The cast is brilliant.  Including appearances from Anderson veteran Jason Schwartzman as Cousin Ben and Tilda Swinton as Social Services, performances from the likes of Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, and Edward Norton.  But it's newcomers Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward that shine the brightest here.  Keeping up with the likes of Willis and Norton is no easy task, and these youngsters are amazing.  I can definitely foresee long careers for both of them.

"Moonrise Kingdom" is darkly hilarious on the surface, but a sweet, endearing love story at its core.  The love that Sam and Sally have for each other is brave and strangely hypnotic.  Sure, they're both not quite teenagers yet, but that doesn't stop them from allowing the other person to love them for all their traits and flaws.  Both are labelled as having emotional problems by the people who surround them, but, when together, they are fearless and protective of each other, which makes their love less immature than it would appear.  Hollywood movies don't have this kind of conviction.  Show me a movie where Meg Ryan shanks a guy in the kidney with a pair of left-handed scissors to protect Tom Hanks, and we'll talk.  Until then, this movie is one of a kind.


FINAL VERDICT:  In a Summer Blockbuster Season as amazing as this, "Moonrise Kingdom" is the sleeper hit this season deserves.  Wes Anderson knocks it out of the park yet again with an amazing original tale of true love and the adventures it sends us on.  Sure, you can make the argument that it's only young love, but, much like the film's young protagonists, the film is much more mature than it would seem.

Movie Review: "To Rome With Love"

A new year, a new Woody Allen movie.  They come out every year like clockwork.  Last year, Woody Allen stole our hearts (and the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay) with the brilliant "Midnight In Paris".

This year's movie "To Rome With Love" is Allen's next European adventure in love, life, and the bizarre.  And when I say bizarre, I mean there is more than one occasion where you occasionally go "What the hell?".   It's not as profound and powerful as "Midnight In Paris", but it's still a lot of fun.

This ensemble movie revolves four story lines in the streets of Rome:  (1) Newlyweds Antonio (Alessandro Tiberi) and Milly (Alessandra Mastronardi), on their honeymoon, get separated, leaving Antonio bizarrely in the hands of an enigmatic prostitute Anna (Penelope Cruz) and Milly, while lost in Rome, winds up on a movie set with superstar Luca Salta (Antonio Albenese); (2) while on vaction, famous architect John (Alec Baldwin) runs into [wait for it] his younger self Jack (Jesse Eisenberg) and girlfriend Sally (Greta Gerwig) while Sally's best friend Monica (Ellen Page) shows up, making Jack starry eyed and confused over the fascinating Monica -- all the while being chastised by John; (3) American Haley (Alison Pill) and local man Michelangelo (Flavio Parenti) fall in love instantly, become engaged, and has Haley's parents Jerry (Woody Allen, acting in his first movie since 2006's "Scoop") and Phyllis (Judy Davis) fly out to Rome to meet Michelangelo and his father Giancarlo (Fabio Armiliato); and (4) unassuming everyman Leopoldo (Roberto Benigni) all of a sudden becomes a celebrity for no apparent reason, and is accosted by the paparazzi everywhere he goes.

Writer/director Woody Allen (2005's "Match Point", 2008's "Cassandra's Dream") strays away from the dramatic thrillers and intelligent comedies to have a little fun like he used to with such surreal movies like "Scoop", "Sleeper", and "Things You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Too Afraid To Ask)".  The script may not be completely over-the-top like the last movie I mentioned on that list, but it's still fairly bizarre and sardonically funny.

Due to the fact there are so many cast members to go over, it's hard to go over everyone.  To simplify things,  here's the highlight:  Alec Baldwin and Jesse Eisenberg have amazing chemistry together, and are hilarious!  The downside:  Roberto Benigni.  I don't care about "Life Is Beautiful".  Benigni is really.  Not.  Funny.

It would be easier to explain quantum mechanics than all the events "To Rome With Love", but that's part of its charm.  Woody Allen has always been known for making comedies that, well, don't make a hell of a lot of sense, but are still fun to watch.  It's not as laugh-out-loud funny as "Ted" is, but it is funny, and makes you feel good.

FINAL VERDICT:  "To Rome With Love" will probably not be nominated for many awards this year, but who cares?  Woody Allen is surely returning to the quality he was once known for back in the early 90s and before.  You won't be grabbing your sides with laughter, but you will be thoroughly entertained.

Video Back-Log: "Goon"

**original release date: 2/24/2012**

It's no mystery to those that know me I've never been the biggest fan of sports movies.  But every once and while, like "The Blind Side" or the under-rated "Wimbeldon", one catches my attention.


Though not in the same caliber as "The Blind Side", hockey comedy/drama "Goon" manages to make you laugh as hard as you cheer in this bizarre underdog tale.  Often crass and over-the-top, "Goon" encompasses  everything that is great about hockey while making it accessible to non-sports-watchers such as myself.


After watching his idol Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber) for years, bouncer Doug Glatt (Sean William Scott) gets a chance of a lifetime when he angrily squares off against a hockey player, is seen by the rival coach, and is instantly made a hockey player.  Driven by encouragement from his best friend Ryan (Jay Baruchel), Doug becomes the enforcer (the guy responsible for all the fights on the ice) for the Halifax Highlanders.  


Soon becoming an overnight sensation, Doug is quickly faced with disappointing his intellectual parents (Eugene Levy, Ellen David), his team because he's not the greatest skater, and falling for hockey fan Eva (Alison Pill), who, by the way, already has a boyfriend.


Director Michael Dowse (the wonderfully under-rated "Take Me Home Tonight"), with writers Jay Baruchel (feature film debut) and Evan Goldberg ("Superbad"), turn the sports movie on its head.  The typical humor you would expect from a writer of "Superbad" with the intense, uncensored action of hockey, this team creates a movie that is violent and goofy, yet still manages to hold up to other great sports comedies like "Major League" and "Necessary Roughness".


Seann Willam Scott is wonderful as Doug, the enforcer with a heart of gold.  This is a role that Scott was virtually born to play:  ruthless, somewhat dim-witted, but ultimately a great guy.  It's nice to see him stray away from the Stiffler character from "American Pie".  The rest of the cast is great here, but this truly is Doug's story, and Scott is great in the spotlight.


Based on the book by Doug "The Hammer" Smith and Adam Frattasio, which is about Smith's actual career in hockey, "Goon" is hard-hitting good time.  It doesn't do much for the good name of hockey, I'm sure (we really don't see much puck-work until the last game in the movie), and its crass dialogue can be off-putting at times.  But, in reality, have you ever listened to any athletes talk amongst themselves in the locker room?  Let's just say they're not the most eloquent of speakers.  So, in a way, "Goon" is a bit more grounded in the gritty underbelly of professional sports that the public never gets to see, and it's fun as hell to watch.


FINAL VERDICT:  Though not an Oscar contender by any stretch of the imagination, "Goon" is a really fun, bizarrely inspiring, underdog tale set in the world of professional hockey.  Sure, it has more bloodshed and curse words than "Miracle", but it's hard not to root for the film any less. 

Two-Cent Review: "Blue Valentine"

**(original release: 2010)**

Another swing and a miss on the Video Back-Log.

Per request by one of my faithful readers, I rented "Blue Valentine".  Let me preface that I am not revoking the request privileges of my fans...but this one made me question why this particular fan requested this one.

It's an interesting concept:  we find Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams), a married couple of some indeterminate years, and the film cuts between when they fall in love, and now, when they're falling out of love with each other.  And, like many great concepts in the indie film world, it gets mercilessly screwed up in the screenplay.

Director Derek Cianfrance ("Brother Tied"...yeah, I haven't heard of it either), along with co-writers Joey Curtis ("Brother Tied") and Cami Delavigne (feature film debut) create a movie that could've been great, but it's all in the execution.  Instead of showing the characters actually be in love and make the audience actually care about them and their romance, they show Dean and Cindy relatively better on their own rather than together -- Dean is a sweet guy who goes out of his way to help others, while Cindy is a free-spirit from a miserable home and a moronic boyfriend.  So okay, Dean is better off at least.  The point is that this film did not make me care about either of them in the 40 minutes I kept this in the player.

I usually enjoy Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, but this film made me too sad to actually enjoy their performances here.  As a writer, I know how crucial the screenplay is to a film.  Much like "Star Wars" Episodes 1, 2, and 3, it doesn't matter how good the actors are.  If the screenplay sucks, it makes the actors look hackneyed and amateurish.

Perhaps the film gets better in the second half, I'll never know.  I couldn't get myself to get there.  It's a mystery what other movie critics saw in this movie, but it matters not.  I sadly could not get into this film.

MY TWO CENTS:  I don't know what the critics saw in this to give it such good reviews, but "Blue Valentine" is a prime example of how not all independent movies are good.  Writer/director Derek Cianfrance has three upcoming projects.  Let's pray that at least one of them is better than this.

On The Record: Great New Music

It's hard to deny that, this year, there is some kick-ass music!  

Whether it's a brand new band or one that is making a comeback, one thing that's for certain:  your stereos will be slamming this summer when you check these bands and albums out.

BLUES TRAVELER, "SUZIE CRACKS THE WHIP"

You may only know these guys for their runaway hit "Run-Around", but Blues Traveler is actually celebrating 25 years together this year, and "Suzie Cracks The Whip" marks their first album since 2008's "North Hollywood Shootout".  I'm sure that means absolutely nothing to you, but, trust me, this album is the one that  you didn't know you were waiting for.  

Starting with the radio-friendly "You Don't Have To Love Me", the blistering "Devil In The Details", and the soulful "Love Is Everything", Blues Traveler has never been better since their breakout album "Four".  When getting this album, I suggest getting it from Best Buy, which will net you 6 additional tracks, including the dark blues number "Maureen", which left me chilling.

LINKIN PARK, "LIVING THINGS"

After the aptly titled "Meteora", Linkin Park had a swing-and-a-miss with "Minutes To Midnight" (except for the awesome "Giving Up" and the irresistible "Bleed It Out") and got slammed for the under-rated "A Thousand Suns".  Now, with "Living Things", Linkin Park comes back to making stellar songs.  Labelled as a more personal album, Linkin Park knocks it out of the park with "Burn It Down", "Lost In The Echo", and "Powerless" (my favorite track on the album).

It may not be as amazing as "Meteora" or "Hybrid Theory", but Linkin Park has definitely starting to get their grove back.

ICON FOR HIRE, "SCRIPTED"

Making a stellar debut, Icon For Hire is a brand new band that has other female-fronted bands like Evanescence and Flyleaf a run for their money.  

From the blistering lead track "Theatre" to the startling "Get Well", Icon For Hire displays masterful lyrics from lead singer Ariel and the blistering music of guitarist Shawn Jump and drummer Adam Kronshagen.  Debut albums like this don't come around every day, so when comes from a completely unknown band like this, it's hard to ignore.  Let's see what happens with their second album.

I FIGHT DRAGONS, "KABOOM!"

Whenever the term "YouTube sensation" comes up, we usually get something like Annoying Orange or "Come To Candy Mountain Charlie".  Punk-chiptune band I Fight Dragons is one YouTube sensation worth checking out.  

Starting with incredible MP3-only albums "Cool Is Just A Number" and "Welcome To The Breakdown" set the stage to amazing harmonies, brilliant music, and soundbits from NES, Atari, and GameBoy games makes I Fight Dragons an incredible band.  The band currently is known for their YouTube video "Rickroll + Mario", where they take Rick Astley's song "Never Gonna Give You Up" and combine it with the classic Super Mario Bros. theme song, but, after the drop of their debut album "Kaboom!", hopefully they'll be known for more than that soon.

From incredible singles "The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth" and "Save World Get Girl" to over-the-top catchy title track and surprisingly soulfull "With You", "Kaboom!" has something for everyone to enjoy.  I Fight Dragons can be currently seen on the Vans Warped Tour, so it's only a step of things to come for this band.

Soapbox Commentary: Dawn of the "Ted"

In a surprise upset this weekend, Universal Pictures' "Ted" defeated not on "Magic Mike", but Pixar's "Brave" at the box office to become the supreme champion this weekend, stealing the coveted Number 1 spot with an astonishing $54.1 million total.  That's better than "The Hangover" when it debuted in May of 2009, and it marks the third best R-rated comedy debut behind "The Hangover Part 2" and "Sex In The City".

How did a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking bear conquer all this weekend?  To put it bluntly, originality.

Both "Ted" and "Magic Mike" (which settled for Number 2 this weekend at $39 million) managed to sweep in audiences without the gimmick of 3D, and without the upcharges on the tickets to swell the numbers.  Therefore, they had to rely on cast and story to do the trick.

I'm going to make the argument that both had gimmicks of their own  "Magic Mike" had hunky men like Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey shaking their moneymakers and shedding clothes, while "Ted" had a walking, talking, pot-smoking, alcohol-chugging teddy bear.  Both had amazing advertising campaigns, and I thought that "Magic Mike" had the better one, making the film into an event movie for women to go in groups like they did with "Sex And The City" in 2008.

However, "Ted" still came up on top with what appears to be a massive following.  It's hard to imagine that Channing Tatum couldn't beat a teddy bear at the box office, but it's true.  How, you may ask?  Once again, originality.

You can make the argument that both films are originals, and you would be right.  Neither are sequels, prequels, remakes or reboots.  However, "Magic Mike" is loosely based upon Channing Tatum's career days as a male erotic dancer, so it could be argued as well that it's not quite an original story.  "Ted", on the other hand, is completely original.

Satirizing Disney-like stories of toys coming to life from a young child's wish ("Life Size", for instance), "Ted" shows what happens when both the boy and the toy grow up together.  Adding Mark Walhberg as Ted's man-boy friend John and Mila Kunis as John's way-to-good-for-him girlfriend Lori was an added bonus to writer/director Seth MacFarlane voicing Ted himself, and the story provided to make this movie great.

Sure, "Family Guy" fans showed up in droves to see this movie since it is Seth MacFarlane's big screen debut, but, despite the various cameos by "Family Guy" stars and few "Family Guy" references, this is NOT a "Family Guy" movie.

"Ted" makes a huge leap in MacFarlane's career, opening up at such an astonishing number, and the story is what carried it there.  Star power aside (Wahlberg is not a huge draw anymore, while Kunis' last film, "Friends With Benefits", was considered a flop), "Ted" is not just about a talking teddy bear, but about love, friendship, and growing up -- all relatable concepts.  Indeed, the poignancy of "Ted" comes as quite a shock, but the fact it can make you laugh while warm your heart is why this film is as genius as it is.  Much like "The Hangover Part 2" that added intelligence to the humor to up the ante, "Ted" adds sentimentality, love and loss to the story to make the film grounded in reality to make you realize that Ted, at the core, has emotions too at his fluffy core.

Though in the weeks to come with comic book adaptations "The Amazing Spider-Man" (reboot) and "The Dark Knight Rises" (sequel) dominating the box office, it's nice to know that film audiences are not as desensitized to unoriginal films as they seem to be.  Granted, they rejected the wonderful "Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World", but, hey, pick your battles.