In 2007, Hasbro had a tremendous success when Paramount and Michael Bay adapted "Transformers", and made a hell of a lot of money worldwide in the process. Following up that success, Hasbro sold the rights to G.I. Joe and made over $300 million worldwide with "G.I. Joe: The Rise of COBRA".
Trying to capitalize on all the properties they have, Hasbro is now trying to adapt their board games. And why not? It worked with "Clue" back in 1985, and has amassed quite the cult following. "Battleship" is the latest attempt to cash in on their good name. After this movie, I'm not entirely sure how good their name is now.
After a new project supported by NASA succeeds in communicating an alien race, the US NAVY, along with the NAVYs from all over the world, face an "extermination level" attack on the high seas. Led by Lieutenant Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) and Japanese NAVY Captain Yugi Nagata (Tadanobu Asano), the battle is on before it's too late.
I wish I could say there's more to the plot than that...but there really isn't.
Director Peter Berg ("The Kingdom", "Hancock"), along with writers Erich and Jon Hoeber ("Red"), make a bizarre action film out of a board game. If it sounds awful, you're not far off. It's about as brainless and flat as you would expect. Sure, it looks kinda cool at times, but that's about it.
Taylor Kitsh and Tadanobu Asano try to carry the movie themselves, but it doesn't quite work. Mainly because they sidelined Liam Neeson as Admiral Shane throughout the entire movie, and Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker don't really make up for it. Hell, I'm still trying to figure out from what hole they dug Peter MacNicol out of. The rest of the supporting cast is so scattered, we never get to spend too much time with any of them.
"Battleship" is an example of what not to do with an action movie. Unlike other alien-themed action movies this year like "The Avengers" and "Men in Black 3", they focused on both the action as well as a the relationships of the characters. The relationship between Agents J and K. The chemistry among all the members of The Avengers. "Battleship" fails to fully establish any relationship between the characters -- it's mainly just humans versus aliens. It can be entertaining to an extent, but for 2+ hours is a bit excessive. I guess I can take solace in the fact that this wasn't as bad as "John Carter".
I would say that Hasbro has learned its lesson and will strive from here on out, but, with "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" being pushed back for an unnecessary 3D conversion and another movie based on "Clue" coming out next year, it doesn't sound like it.
FINAL VERDICT: "Battleship", though somewhat fun, is the kind of movie that all indie movie junkies bitch about every Summer Blockbuster Season -- empty, meaningless action without the writing required to make what could be a ridiculous action movie into a great blockbuster. It's probably why "Battleship" is thus far considered the biggest flop of the season. You won't be bored to tears, but you won't be amazed either.
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