Soapbox Commentary: The Top 10 Worst Movies of 2016

Every year in the movie world, one thing is always certain: they all can't be winners. For every Hidden Figures and La La Land, you had a Dirty Grandpa and London Has Fallen – a film that wasn't terrible but still had some merit to it.

And then there are these ten films. Dull, lifeless, often without merit, and bewildering to audiences. Best intentions don't always lead to best movies, but these are are the best examples of this principle.

Remember: if you don't see the movie you thought was the worst of 2016, it's probably because:

1. I didn't see it. While I can't see every gem of the year, I certainly can't see every piece of shit that comes out either.
2. I saw it, but didn't think it was that bad. Like Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, there are those films that were wrecked by most critics, but had enough to the film that it wound up being a little fun.
3. You and I have vastly different opinions on movies, and perhaps should check out my Best of 2016.

Pray to whatever deity you pray to that there aren't any films this bad in 2017.

#10. SULLY

That's right. Boo. Hiss. How dare I? Hear me out:

Clint Eastwood is a brilliant director who has made Oscar-winning films like Unforgiven and Mystic River. Tom Hanks is a brilliant actor who has done Oscar-winning turns in films like Forrest Gump and Oscar-worthy turns in films like Bridge of Spies and Catch Me if You Can. Any film that these two were going to do together was bound to solid gold, right?

How wrong we were. Sully had fifteen solid minutes in a two-and-a-half-hour film, and that's about all the credit I can muster for the movie. Tom Hanks is decent, but misused. The real story of the Miracle on the Hudson takes a backseat to a legal drama that wasn't interesting.

It wasn't atrocious, but it wasn't Oscar-worthy either.

#9. INDIGNATION

Oscar-bait is usually a great way to showcase wonderful acting, stellar screenwriting, and solid directing. Indignation showcased none of these things.

Logan Lerman abandoned his teen film image for a more mature role, and it almost worked out for him. His performance was decent, and, had the screenplay been more solid, he would have had a better opportunity to shine.

Dark, overly sexualized, and little point, Indignation had little to offer.

#8. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS

The original film was polarizing. The Turtles looked odd, the script was gritty and dark, and the voice cast didn't resonate with all audience. But it was still a fun time.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows took the little goodwill it had earned with fans and burned it without prejudice. While it was wonderful to see fan-favorites Beebop and Rocksteady on screen, they seemed too much like the products of second-rate Three Stooges material to be funny. Making vigilante Casey Jones a cop was just sacrilegious. And Krang...what the fuck was that?

If a third film in the series comes out, let's just hope it manages to be better than this.

#7. THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER'S WAR

When Snow White and the Huntsman came out, it was a decent enough film, but, while it showcased Chris Hemsworth as his career was rising, it showcased Kristen Stewart as hers was ending. The logical decision seemed like to remove her character from the film. Perhaps the actual logical decision should have been not to make another movie.

Hemsworth, as well as the returning Charlize Theron and the new castmates Emily Blunt and Jessica Chastain, all seemed remarkably out of place in this lifeless, forgettable fantasy film that offered no justification why audiences should care about these characters at all.

#6. JASON BOURNE

2016 seemed to be the year of the long-overdue sequel, and this was another example of why you should just quit while you're ahead.

Jason Bourne came four years The Bourne Legacy, saw Matt Damon take the role back from Jeremy Renner (who was far better in that installment), and little else can be said about it. Damon looked old and tired, something he didn't when The Martian debuted. The plot seemed like the Cliffs Notes of the first three films Damon starred in. The stakes were dulled. The script was lackluster. No one asked for this movie.

Pray a sixth film either gets Renner back, or just doesn't happen?

#5. LIGHTS OUT

Horror films are a dime-a-dozen because they are made on a shoestring budget and make twice said budget back often in one day. So making a film with a stand-out concept is always a good idea for horror producers.

Lights Out is a prime example of how a stand-out concept doesn't always compensate for a phoned-in script, dull performances, and an ending that doesn't make sense.

And, of course, there's a sequel on the way.

#4. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT

After Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was split into two films to massive success, it became the vogue thing to do in Hollywood to split the last film in every franchise into two. And while the finales of Twilight, The Hunger Games, and The Hobbit didn't go as well as Hallows Part 2 did, at least they all stayed in line with the source material.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant magnificently failed this simple task. While the film shared the characters and the name of the last book of the teen dystopian sci-fi book series, that was the extent of the similarities. Perhaps the idea was to save the actual plot of the book for the second part of Allegiant, but, if that's the case, that was a failure as well. Allegiant failed so bad at the box office, and we may never see planned last film, The Divergent Series: Ascendant.

Bad writing, uncomfortable performances, and a convoluted plot. Yeah. We may be better off.

#3. INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

If you're going to make a sequel over 20 years after the original film, it may be a good idea to take the two-decade span to ensure the film is spectacular.

Independence Day: Resurgence clearly did not take this thought to heart. A clearly rushed script, the inability to get Will Smith back, and the cast that did want to return was forced into second-fiddle roles to make the new cast members feel relevant in a film that mentioned strong back-stories that seemed more interesting than the story that played out on screen.

So, maybe the moral of the story should be, if you're going to make a sequel to a movie that came out 20 years prior...don't.

#2. SUICIDE SQUAD

If your fans have to take to social media and create a petition to shut down Rotten Tomatoes because they're claiming the poor reviews are ruining the movie, maybe it's time to admit the movie wasn't good.

Suicide Squad should have been great. A-list villains being forced to team up and save the world should have felt like the anti-Avengers and would have given DC a shot at competing with Marvel Studios. Instead, we get a plot that makes less sense than Allegiant, characters feeling like window dressing instead of fully developed, a script that was rewritten into oblivion, and the Joker was relegated into a cameo position rather than the star.

After Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, this was a major step in the wrong direction.

#1. ASSASSIN'S CREED

Who the hell was this movie made for?

The movie had almost nothing to do with the video game it shares its name with, so the fans of the video game rejected it.

The sci-fi elements are so odd and ridiculous, genre fans rejected it.

The historical elements were barely touched upon, so subgenre fans rejected it.

And the performances, writing, and direction was so inane and horrible, even casual movie fans rejected the film.

Seriously, who the hell was this movie made for?

Soapbox Commentary: The Top 10 Best movies of 2016

While 2016 was easily one of the most divisive years in modern history, it's also been one hell of a cinematic year. Diverse, intense, and often magical, the movies of 2016 gave audiences a lot to revel in.

Before I deliver on the goods, a quick disclaimer:

I did not see every film in 2016. Let's face it, no one actually did. But, with the slew of films that went into limited release on Christmas Day, there are many films that you may see on other critics' lists that I unfortunately could not see. And, while films like Live By Night and The Founder won't be going nationwide until this year, they had Oscar runs in L.A. and New York, making them 2016 films, not 2017 films.

So, if you don't see your favorite film on this list, it's possibly due to this reason. Or, you know, you may want to check my Worst of 2016 list.

Either way, on with the show!

#10: DEADPOOL

I often do my best to keep comic book movies off my Top 10 lists. I'm a geek by nature, and, however tempting it would be vociferate about every geek-gasm I have each year, I try to reserve the spots on the Top 10 to the truly important films of the year.

And that's ironically why Deadpool narrowly makes the list. While 20^th Century Fox had a tragic foible with Fantastic Four last year and a polarizing misstep with X-Men: Apocalypse this year, Deadpool not only avoids the typical self-important brooding that all superhero films outside of the Marvel Cinematic Universe falls victim to, but also shows comic book movies can be action-packed, fun, and self-deprecating.

Think Deadpool still doesn't deserve to be on this list? Well, the Hollywood Foreign Press nominated it for a Golden Globe in one the Best Picture categories. Sorry, but the placement on this list is more than justified.

#9: QUEEN OF KATWE

Many of this year's films featured strong female leads overcoming difficult odds based on gender, race, and/or environment. Disney's Queen of Katwe is one of the finer examples of this. While it's not as riveting as one of my other top picks for the year, Katwe is every bit as important of a film based on the message we should be telling the next generation of females as it is due to its strong script and amazing performances.

Lupita Nyong'o, David Oyelowo, and newcomer Madina Nalwanga all deserved nominations for their performances in this little-seen film, and the film only adds to the impressive slate Disney had in 2016. It may not have made as much money as even the modest receipts forPete's Dragon, but that doesn't mean this film isn't important.

#8: ANTHROPOID

It's rare that any war movie winds up on my list, since I've never been a fan of them. However, Anthropoid is far from the typical war movie. Putting equal importance on the events of history as it is with the people who made this history, Anthropoid is a thrilling, gripping tale that has the edge-of-your seat thrills of a Hollywood action film, while maintaining the spirit of an indie film.

Again, this film was not seen by many. In fact, it's more than likely not going to be found on anyone else's Top 10 lists of the year. This is a shame, because this is every bit of excellent as films like Black Hawk Down and Saving Private Ryan, just without the graphic realistic violence that marred those films from being enjoyable to a wide audience.

#7: EYE IN THE SKY

Political thrillers are a rarity unto themselves these days, which is a shame since, given the current political climate, there is so much to bring to light that many are blind to.

Eye in the Sky illuminates one of the biggest dilemmas our current military faces: do we risk life of one and lose the propaganda war? Or risk the lives of many to win the propaganda war? A verbal chess match that lead to many of the year's best cinematic moments, and, once again, very few people saw it.

With Oscar-worthy performances from Helen Mirren, Aaron Paul, and the final live-action performance from much-beloved Alan Rickman, Eye in the Sky deserved so much more attention than it received upon release.

#6: MANCHESTER BY THE SEA

While this film tops many critics' lists, it's not quite the best film of the year. But Manchester By the Sea is a remarkable film.

An honest look at family, loss, and trauma, Manchester has a lot to offer. Casey Affleck rises from bit player status and gives quite easily the best performance of his career, rivaling those of any other actor this year. The story itself is not an easy one, and the film is often a difficult one to watch.

Still, any film to have this deep of an impact deserves to be on this list, even though I may not share the same awe and praise most American critics have for this movie.

#5: DOCTOR STRANGE

Again, I try to leave comic book films off these types of lists. And, while many would argue that Captain America: Civil War was the stronger film from the Marvel Studios, Doctor Strange requires less knowledge of the other MCU films to enjoy.

But, then again, Doctor Strange is a different beast entirely. Focusing on Eastern religion and magic rather than sci-fi action, Strange is one of the best written films of the year, provided by the same writer of this year's Spider-Man: Homecoming, and an Oscar-worthy performance by Benedict Cumberbatch.

One of Marvel's riskiest films proved to be one of its biggest payouts. Marvel didn't just give fans what they want, but they delivered a film that they didn't even know they wanted. This sort of filmmaking deserves accolades.

#4: ARRIVAL

If films like Safety Not Guarenteed or this year's hidden gem Midnight Special has taught us anything, it's that sci-fi doesn't have to be filled with glitz, glam, CGI, and action to be excellent. But, honestly, no film exhibits this better than Arrival.

A movie about language and understanding should not be this riveting, and, yet, here we are. The film has received multiple nominations, including Golden Globe nominations, and every one of them are deserved. The cinematography is excellent, the editing is magical, and the performances by Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner are breath-taking.

Arrival is intelligent without being arrogant about it, and the non-linear nature isn't difficult to follow. Sci-fi doesn't need to look like Star Wars to be eye-popping, and Arrival should be on everyone's must-see list.

#3: DENIAL

In a post-truth age, the truth is a powerful weapon. Denial takes this message to heart, and runs with it like a freight train out of hell.

In this true story about the libel case against Deborah Lipstadt (Rachel Weisz) brought on by known Holocaust denier David Irving (Timothy Spall), Denial is a nail-biting court drama that is dramatic, not because the stakes are life-and-death, but because the truth is dangerous when it's ignored.

With our current political climate being what it is, Denial should be required viewing for any American – young and old. It's hard not to deny this film its due. Denial is by far one of the best historical dramas of the year, and is only over-shadowed by one film.

#2: HIDDEN FIGURES

In case you hadn't realized it, African Americans and women have shaped America to what it has become and the history books have conveniently ignored this fact until recently. Hidden Figures illuminates one of the greatest untold stories of NASA and the space race with Russia.

While it's gripping and fascinating to watch a movie about three African American women (Taraji P. Hansen, Octavia Spencer, and Janelle Monae) and their impact on the pre-Apollo NASA missions, what Hidden Figures does is something that most historical dramas seemingly ignore: be entertaining.

Hidden Figures is funny, but not at the expense of drama or historical importance. The characters are flushed out, the writing is solid, and the performances are Oscar-worthy. This film should be a must-see on everyone's list.

#1: LA LA LAND

Like it or hate it, there's always something special when a film tries to recapture the magic and spirit of old Hollywood. Where Cafe Society and Hail, Cesar! tried admirably to honor this golden age of stars and screen, it's La La Land that sticks the landing in this beautiful send-up to original musicals.

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone are amazing, singing and dancing their hearts out while giving the best performances of their careers. Damien Chazelle's follow-up to the underappreciated Whiplash is a toe-tapping, beautifully rendered homage to cinematic musicals that truly needs to be seen to believe.

It's emotionally true without being overly dramatic. It's highly energetic and fun without resulting in bubblegum sweetness. It earns its hype without becoming a product of it. This was one of the most highly anticipated movies, and it deserves to be on the top of this list.

Now go see it!

Soapbox Commentary: Top 15 Most Anticipated Films of 2017

2016 has come to a close, and, instead of dwelling on the past, let's look to the future. And what brings more joy than movies?

Here are the top fifteen that have me waiting eagerly to throw money at tickets. If you don't see a movie you're eager to see on here, keep in mind that:

A. Out of the multitude of movies coming out this year, I only selected the top fifteen.

B. You and I could be anticipating vastly different movies.

That being said, here we go!

#15: WONDER WOMAN

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice was polarizing at best. Suicide Squad was such a disaster, FEMA should have been offering support at the theaters for those who saw it, and Justice League isn't looking too hot either.

So why is Wonder Woman on this list? To put it bluntly, history is about to be made. Wonder Woman is the first female-led solo superhero adventure film and the first superhero film from a major motion picture studio to be led to directed by a woman. If the movie is a success, it could be the much needed stone to break the glass ceiling in Hollywood. If it fails, it could be the first step in destroying the DC Extended Universe forever.

So either way, it's a win.

#14: SLEIGHT

Sundance films come and go. Films produced by Jason Blum are a dime-a-dozen these days. So what makes Sleight so special? Well, first of all, we're not getting Now You See Me 3 this year, so I need an outlet for magic with attitude. Also, it's the first major project for Dule Hill since the tragic cancellation of Psych.

In reality though? This film just looks cool, and it's obnoxious that, after it debuted at Sundance in 2016, we're not getting it until this year.

#13: THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE

The Lego Movie was a cash-grab film done right. It was an absolute visual delight, it had one of the best voice casts of any animated film, and, just when you think you're head is going to explode from the overwhelming awesomeness, it packs a hell of a punch once you realize its unexpected depths.

Do I expect The Lego Batman Movie to equal these depths? Not even close. Lightning rarely ever strikes twice. However, this does look like one hell of a fun time at the box office, and it looks like Warner Bros is going for the jugular and attacking the overly serious comic book films it helped to create.

It may not be amazing, but it will certainly have balls.

#12: LIFE

Action films are starting earlier and earlier every year, making Spring the new Summer. Life looks to be capitalizing on this in 2017, opening up in late March.

What makes Life stand apart is that has Jake Gyllenhaal and Ryan Reynolds in their first movies after the biggest films of their recent careers (Nocturnal Animals and Deadpool, respectively), and that first trailer looks haunting and intense – kind of the way that Ridley Scott's Alien must have looked to audiences in the 70s. I'm excited.

#11: THE MUMMY

Usually I try to keep reboots off these sort of lists because, well, they're often shitty ideas. That being said, The Mummy has a lot going for it.

Like him or not, Tom Cruise has been in a career renaissance as of late, and this looks like it could be another notch in his box office belt. Adding in Russell Crowe as Henry Jekyll, Sofia Boutella as the titular antagonist, and Alex Kurtzman in his big action film debut, and this film could be the exception to the anti-reboot rule.

#10: STAR WARS EPISODE VIII

By now, it's clear what my opinion of Rogue One was. So why would Star Wars Episode VIII make this list at all? The better question should be “Why wouldn't it make this list?”.

While it's the sequel to The Force Awakens, the first Star Wars film to make me feel and see what all the fuss has been about this franchise for over 30 years, it's also the first film to be a shining example of the Marvel model: take a star in the indie film community, give them a budget, and make a movie that will please fans and make shit-load of money in the process.

This time, it's Rian Johnson's turn. After writing and directing Brick, The Brothers Bloom, and Looper, Johnson is writing and directing Episode VIII. What's the story going to be ? What's going to happen to Princess Leia now that Carrie Fisher has passed away? Will Joseph Gordon Leavitt show up like Johnson's previous three films? The wait is palpable.

#9: DUNKIRK

It's never too early to start thinking about Oscar season, and Dunkirk has Oscar bait written all over it.

Writer/director Christopher Nolan returns after a disappointing turn in Interstellar with this WWII film that is a departure from the dark noir and Batman films he's mostly known for. While the trailers of the film have been light on plot details and action, the cast alone – featuring Mark Rylance, Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, and Kenneth Branagh – is more than enough to be optimistic about.

Also, the last time Nolan wrote and directed without his brother Jonathan was Inception.

Enough said.

#8: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2

Spoiler alert: the next three films are Marvel movies. The fact that we're getting three Marvel Studios films this year is enough to be excited about.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 is the epitome of inevitable sequels. Hell, its tagline is “Of course”, which is almost as arrogant as its predecessor's tagline “You're welcome”. Already Vol 2 is making waves, showing more action and laughs in the trailer than the first film had in its first half – possibly even the entire movie.

Add in new cast members Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, and Nathan Fillion, and it's easy to be excited about this movie.

#7: SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

Like I said, reboots are bad ideas. Reboots after only three years since the last attempt isn't just a bad idea – it's usually a fucking death sentence.

However, every rule has its exception, and Spider-Man Homecoming embodies this exception. Fans finally get what they've been asking for since Tobey Maguire hung up the Spidey suit: Marvel Studios is at the helm now. Tom Holland's Peter Parker was road-tested in last year's incredible Captain America: Civil War to satisfyingly giddy results, and Michael Keaton as The Vulture seems like an amazing decision (and not just because he previously starred in a movie called Birdman).

#6: THOR RAGNORAK

As I've always been a fan of the MCU since the first Iron Man film, the solo films which usually have been the weakest links in the franchise have been Thor films.

What makes Thor: Ragnorak more anticipated than the other two MCU films we're getting this year is simple mathematics.

1. We haven't heard from Thor since Avengers: Age of Ultron, and another romp with the Asgardian demigod is something that fans have been wanting eagerly since his absence in Civil War was painfully noticed.

2. More Avengers in a solo film? Yes, yes, and yes! Mark Ruffalo shows up as Bruce Banner/Hulk, who has also been absent since Ultron, and brings a taste of Planet Hulk (which fans have been begging Marvel for for ages). Also, Benedict Cumberbatch is slated to show up as Doctor Strange, who had easily the best solo debut of any Marvel Studios character.

3. Remember Thor's sinister, dark visions in Ultron? How about an entire movie of that?

Seriously, Marvel. Just take my fucking money now.

#5: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Ready to feel old? Disney's animated masterpiece (and I do not use this term lightly) was 26 years ago.

Riding the immense success of adapting their animated films into live-action masterpieces with Cinderella, Pete's Dragon and, most importantly, The Jungle Book, Disney is rolling one hell of a dice with Beauty and the Beast.

Adding new songs as well as the classic ones we've all grown up with, and touting a glorious cast with the likes of Emma Watson, Josh Gad, Ewan Macgreggor, Ian McKellan, Emma Thompson, Luke Evans, and Kevin Kline, Beauty and the Beast has an insane amount of potential.

#4: THE DARK TOWER

Given the fact that fantasy fans and Stephen King fans alike have been yearning for this film to come to the big screen for nearly 20 years now, you would think The Dark Tower would have been at the top spot of my list.

With Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey headlining the film, why is not?

Well, I'm still not convinced it will actually come out this year.

Yes, it finally has a firm cast and release date, but yeah. Still not convinced.

If it does, though, it will be AMAZING!

#3: KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE

The final comic book-related film on the list, Kingsman: The Golden Circle may not be the sequel everyone has been waiting on (since The Secret Service just came out in 2014), but it is proving to be quite an anomalous sequel.

While overnight sensation Taron Egerton returns as the film's star, and director Matthew Vaughn returns to helm the first sequel of his career, it's the rest of the cast that has clamoring for this sequel harder than any other. Channing Tatum, Julianne Moore, Halle Berry, Jeff Bridges, Vinny Jones, Colin Firth (yes, you read that right), and Elton John (yes, I assure you, you read that right) fill out this already impressive cast as the Kingsman crew come to America.

Whether or not the film will hold up to its predecessor, The Golden Circle will almost definitely be worth the ticket price.

#2: GET OUT

Horror films have never really been my forte as of late, mostly because, well, most of the new horror films have sucked. Hard.

But Get Out seems to be taking the horror genre back to its roots as a vehicle for social commentary, and that has me more excited than I have been for a horror film in over fifteen years. It shouldn't be any surprise that this one comes from horror producer juggernaut Jason Blum.

Writer/director Jordan Peele, the lesser-seen half of Key and Peele, steps out from in front of the camera and into the director's chair for this film about a young African American man who goes to visit the family of his white girlfriend, and the bizarre horrors that follow.

When a director has something to say about race relations in modern America, it's always exciting. So it's time to get excited about Get Out.

#1: MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS

As much as I love comic book films, comedy, and other examples of popcorn flicks, one genre that always excites me is mystery. I've always loved good mystery and murder films from the likes of Hitchcock and film noir giants, and no one did stories like these better than Agatha Christie.

Murder on the Orient Express, directed by Kenneth Branagh (who also stars as the famous detective Hercule Peroit), brings one of the most famous Christie novels to life with one of the most stellar casts I've ever seen in a film. Daisy Ridely, Michelle Pfeiffer, Josh Gad, Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Dame Judi Dench, Willem Dafoe, Michael Pena, and Leslie Odom Jr star in this ever-growing cast.

This film is easily the most promising film of the year, and could possibly be one of th ebest movies of the 2017.