Soapbox Commentary: The Top 10 Worst Movies of 2016

Every year in the movie world, one thing is always certain: they all can't be winners. For every Hidden Figures and La La Land, you had a Dirty Grandpa and London Has Fallen – a film that wasn't terrible but still had some merit to it.

And then there are these ten films. Dull, lifeless, often without merit, and bewildering to audiences. Best intentions don't always lead to best movies, but these are are the best examples of this principle.

Remember: if you don't see the movie you thought was the worst of 2016, it's probably because:

1. I didn't see it. While I can't see every gem of the year, I certainly can't see every piece of shit that comes out either.
2. I saw it, but didn't think it was that bad. Like Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, there are those films that were wrecked by most critics, but had enough to the film that it wound up being a little fun.
3. You and I have vastly different opinions on movies, and perhaps should check out my Best of 2016.

Pray to whatever deity you pray to that there aren't any films this bad in 2017.

#10. SULLY

That's right. Boo. Hiss. How dare I? Hear me out:

Clint Eastwood is a brilliant director who has made Oscar-winning films like Unforgiven and Mystic River. Tom Hanks is a brilliant actor who has done Oscar-winning turns in films like Forrest Gump and Oscar-worthy turns in films like Bridge of Spies and Catch Me if You Can. Any film that these two were going to do together was bound to solid gold, right?

How wrong we were. Sully had fifteen solid minutes in a two-and-a-half-hour film, and that's about all the credit I can muster for the movie. Tom Hanks is decent, but misused. The real story of the Miracle on the Hudson takes a backseat to a legal drama that wasn't interesting.

It wasn't atrocious, but it wasn't Oscar-worthy either.

#9. INDIGNATION

Oscar-bait is usually a great way to showcase wonderful acting, stellar screenwriting, and solid directing. Indignation showcased none of these things.

Logan Lerman abandoned his teen film image for a more mature role, and it almost worked out for him. His performance was decent, and, had the screenplay been more solid, he would have had a better opportunity to shine.

Dark, overly sexualized, and little point, Indignation had little to offer.

#8. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS

The original film was polarizing. The Turtles looked odd, the script was gritty and dark, and the voice cast didn't resonate with all audience. But it was still a fun time.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows took the little goodwill it had earned with fans and burned it without prejudice. While it was wonderful to see fan-favorites Beebop and Rocksteady on screen, they seemed too much like the products of second-rate Three Stooges material to be funny. Making vigilante Casey Jones a cop was just sacrilegious. And Krang...what the fuck was that?

If a third film in the series comes out, let's just hope it manages to be better than this.

#7. THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER'S WAR

When Snow White and the Huntsman came out, it was a decent enough film, but, while it showcased Chris Hemsworth as his career was rising, it showcased Kristen Stewart as hers was ending. The logical decision seemed like to remove her character from the film. Perhaps the actual logical decision should have been not to make another movie.

Hemsworth, as well as the returning Charlize Theron and the new castmates Emily Blunt and Jessica Chastain, all seemed remarkably out of place in this lifeless, forgettable fantasy film that offered no justification why audiences should care about these characters at all.

#6. JASON BOURNE

2016 seemed to be the year of the long-overdue sequel, and this was another example of why you should just quit while you're ahead.

Jason Bourne came four years The Bourne Legacy, saw Matt Damon take the role back from Jeremy Renner (who was far better in that installment), and little else can be said about it. Damon looked old and tired, something he didn't when The Martian debuted. The plot seemed like the Cliffs Notes of the first three films Damon starred in. The stakes were dulled. The script was lackluster. No one asked for this movie.

Pray a sixth film either gets Renner back, or just doesn't happen?

#5. LIGHTS OUT

Horror films are a dime-a-dozen because they are made on a shoestring budget and make twice said budget back often in one day. So making a film with a stand-out concept is always a good idea for horror producers.

Lights Out is a prime example of how a stand-out concept doesn't always compensate for a phoned-in script, dull performances, and an ending that doesn't make sense.

And, of course, there's a sequel on the way.

#4. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT

After Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was split into two films to massive success, it became the vogue thing to do in Hollywood to split the last film in every franchise into two. And while the finales of Twilight, The Hunger Games, and The Hobbit didn't go as well as Hallows Part 2 did, at least they all stayed in line with the source material.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant magnificently failed this simple task. While the film shared the characters and the name of the last book of the teen dystopian sci-fi book series, that was the extent of the similarities. Perhaps the idea was to save the actual plot of the book for the second part of Allegiant, but, if that's the case, that was a failure as well. Allegiant failed so bad at the box office, and we may never see planned last film, The Divergent Series: Ascendant.

Bad writing, uncomfortable performances, and a convoluted plot. Yeah. We may be better off.

#3. INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

If you're going to make a sequel over 20 years after the original film, it may be a good idea to take the two-decade span to ensure the film is spectacular.

Independence Day: Resurgence clearly did not take this thought to heart. A clearly rushed script, the inability to get Will Smith back, and the cast that did want to return was forced into second-fiddle roles to make the new cast members feel relevant in a film that mentioned strong back-stories that seemed more interesting than the story that played out on screen.

So, maybe the moral of the story should be, if you're going to make a sequel to a movie that came out 20 years prior...don't.

#2. SUICIDE SQUAD

If your fans have to take to social media and create a petition to shut down Rotten Tomatoes because they're claiming the poor reviews are ruining the movie, maybe it's time to admit the movie wasn't good.

Suicide Squad should have been great. A-list villains being forced to team up and save the world should have felt like the anti-Avengers and would have given DC a shot at competing with Marvel Studios. Instead, we get a plot that makes less sense than Allegiant, characters feeling like window dressing instead of fully developed, a script that was rewritten into oblivion, and the Joker was relegated into a cameo position rather than the star.

After Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, this was a major step in the wrong direction.

#1. ASSASSIN'S CREED

Who the hell was this movie made for?

The movie had almost nothing to do with the video game it shares its name with, so the fans of the video game rejected it.

The sci-fi elements are so odd and ridiculous, genre fans rejected it.

The historical elements were barely touched upon, so subgenre fans rejected it.

And the performances, writing, and direction was so inane and horrible, even casual movie fans rejected the film.

Seriously, who the hell was this movie made for?