Perhaps it was a bit of a sellout to go see a movie I've been verbally bashing the hell out of since last December on its opening weekend. Or perhaps it was good foresight seeing that I'm the proud owner of a movie blog again, and some of my followers might be dying to know my opinion of such a film which has been garnering such press and faithful followers.
Whatever you decided to call it, I saw the movie, and the following is my opinion of it.
It's no secret that I've despised everything "Twilight" related since the first movie bowed in 2008. I have refused to read the books, and refused to take these movies too seriously. Yes, I will give them credit for being as successful as they are, breaking records, and raking in more dough than other (dare I say, better) franchises.
So there I found myself in the ticket-holders' line for "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse", one of 4 males among a sea of bubbly 18-twentysomething girls waiting to drool over Edward or Jacob (or both for all I know). Even before the title screen for Summit Entertainment was off the screen, the barrage of screaming girls coming through in louder stereo than the theater's THX began, and I began to regret my decision not to wait.
The film picks up pretty much where "New Moon" left off. Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are in love, Jacob (Taylor Lautner) is pissed and brooding (which, ironically, I thought was a vampire's job), and all seems right with the world. That is, until, Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard, taking over for Rachelle Lefevre due to "scheduling conflicts") decides to build and army to go after Bella and the Cullens once and for all. Add in Jacob's over-obsessive crushing on Bella and Edward's cryptic (pun is not intended) hesitancy to give Bella what she wants, it seems like death is the least of Bella's problems. [insert inevitable Muse song here]
All of this is all leading up to the big battle between good and evil, the big melee seen in the trailers that I can only imagine would look bad-ass on an IMAX screen. The road getting there, however, is a slow, arduous trek into screenwriting hell.
Taking the helm from "New Moon" director Chris Weitz ("The Golden Compass") and "Twilight" director Catherine Hardwicke ("Lords of Dogtown") is David Slade. Though he may be new blood to "The Twilight Saga", he is no stranger to vampire films, having done excellent work on 2007's "30 Days of Night". And Slade continues to do great work here as well, offering a grittier Forks than we had seen in the previous two films. However, no matter how great the cinematography is, it's still Melissa Rosenberg's pitiful excuse for a script that continues to plague this franchise's chances of being great rather than mediocre.
Now don't get me completely wrong here. The hype is true that this is the best movie in the "Twilight" series. But the big problem here is that it's not saying a whole hell of a lot. In terms of quality, the first two movies have set the bar alarmingly low. It's hard to blame Rosenberg's script entirely though. Stewart and Pattinson still fail to prove that (a) they can act their way out of a paper bag and (b) that they have any chemistry together at all. This is a story about eternal love. How am I supposed to be feeling that when neither of them seem to be in love at all? And Taylor Lautner seems to be losing acting talent every time he takes his shirt off. Where was the range he had in the original? Where is sweet likable Jacob? And why couldn't wardrobe give him at least one fucking shirt? And let's face it. If you can make Dakota Fanning look wooden, you know there's a problem.
Did I hate the film? No. At least this film had some merit. The final battle scene was a delight to watch. It was well-paced and choreographed like a masterpiece ballet of death and destruction. And, let's face it, even Joss Whedon woudln't be able to deny many of the female characters can kick a little undead ass. But one scene cannot make up for the hackneyed acting and rushed-through writing. If the series ended here, I would not be as disappointed. But the problem is that there's not only one but two more movies in the franchise, and David Slade will not be returning to direct either part of "Breaking Dawn". So what is there really to look forward to other than no more "Twilight"?
FINAL VERDICT: "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" did not suck. Though calling it the best in the series is like saying someone is the sexiest person with leprosy. This film is guaranteed to satiate the tweens and the Twi-hards, as well as make an unfathomable amount of money. However, if you're looking for a movie with decent actors and a decent script, this is more than likely not your cup of O Positive.
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